Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?

In the modern era, there is a heated controversy about whether older members of society should live with their
families
or in special residences with their
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
. Because of numerous mental and physical reasons, I endorse the
firs
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
standpoint and I'm going to explain more about
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the rest of
this
essay.
To begin
with, many older people love to spend a lot of time with their
families
.
Firstly
,
this
issue
bond
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bonds
show examples
the whole family together and they can back each other in difficulties by their experience and vice versa, by
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
abilities.
For example
, I sometimes utilise my grandfather's advice in different aspects of my life and some other
time
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times
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, I help him to do some activities.
Secondly
, old people's
families
know them better than anyone else and treat them in the way they like which makes it easier to take care of them and enhances their medical condition.
Finally
, living with the family and
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
the community can sharpen the emotional sense of older people and make them feel that they are not incapacitated yet
while
living in special houses usually is accompanied by a sense of abandonment.
On the other hand
, living with peers can benefit elderies to some extent. Special residences for aged individuals usually offer appropriate food and specialized healthcare 24/7 which is way far more suitable for them compared to living on their own.
Hence
,
this
can alleviate the potential medical risks of living with their
families
.
Additionally
,
this
can expose them to a society full of their peers who understand each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
better than anyone else. In 2022,
for instance
, research indicated
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
death
Add an article
the death
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rate in special accommodations for elderies was 20 per cent lower than those who lived with their
families
.
To conclude
, I think aged individuals should be taken care of by their
families
and make them happy and satisfied in the
last
moments of their lives.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

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task response
Make sure to address the prompt directly and stay focused on the topic throughout the essay. Consider both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong preference for one, to fully respond to the task.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and maintain cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively within and across paragraphs.
task response
Back your points with more specific examples and data. While personal anecdotes add a nice touch, incorporating a variety of evidence, including statistics or research findings, could make your argument more convincing.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional support
  • familial bonding
  • isolated
  • heritage
  • traditions
  • personalized care
  • wheelchair accessibility
  • facilities
  • community of peers
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • generation gaps
  • lifestyle
  • pressure of caregiving
  • feelings of abandonment
  • isolation
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