Many children who are home-schooled are not prepared for university at the same rate of children in government-funded schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

In
present
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the present
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day, some
children
are being
home schooled
Add a hyphen
home-schooled
show examples
with private teachers for various reasons.
Children
who are home-schooled do not get the same opportunity to make contacts and connections or have the same social context compared to their peers who are attending government-funded schools.
This
essay will explore the causes of
this
and what consequences
this
has on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. To start with, when
children
are being home-schooled they rarely have any classmates to talk or cooperate with.
This
may lead to feelings of isolation or
lonlieness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
or in worst cases even depression.
For instance
, a child who is at home most of the time and
do
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does
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not have many friends may find it harder in the future to meet new people or make social connections, especially at universities where group projects are in significant part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education.
This
leads to home-schooled
children
not being prepared fully to go to university in the future.
This
will have many consequences for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, in terms of work
enviroments
Correct your spelling
environments
environment
and developments for the country.
For example
, if an individual
do
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does
show examples
not have the ability to cooperate and collaborate with
it´s
Replace the word
its
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environment or
collegues
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colleagues
, which is highly valued in today´s global world, will result in no
decions
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decisions
taken or progress in the company.
Additionally
, world leaders need to have the ability to cooperate and are mandatory to attend social events to work towards world peace. In summary,
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
home-schooled can have a negative impact on your self-esteem
as well as
getting a lower social context.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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structure
Ensure a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are present, each serving their purpose. Your essay has these components, but clarity and impact can be enhanced.
examples
Develop your main points with more detailed examples. While you provided relevant scenarios, more specificity would strengthen your argument.
linking
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
depth
Increase the depth and breadth of your ideas to fully respond to all parts of the task. Consider the reasons behind the issue and a wider range of consequences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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