It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is believed to be essential for people to venture outside the boundaries at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
as well as
in their daily life. This
essay will argue that despite the fact that maintaining the status quo could bring the feeling of comfort, it is far more advantageous for human beings to go out and take risks
because it is a necessary step to any success.
Staying in Change the word
their
the
comfort zone may prevent individuals from certain unwanted threats. Correct pronoun usage
their
This
is because all that they need to do is to carry on what they have been already familar
with or proficient at without being afraid of any unexpected consequences or Correct your spelling
familiar
risks
. As a result
, there is no urge in altering
those behaviours or routines as long as they are still fine for them. Change preposition
to alter
For instance
, one prefers to stick to a group of his bosom friends in a school gathering than to engage a stranger in a conversation, or a Math teacher is content with repeating the same lessons year after year for every classes
he teaches. Change to a singular noun
class
However
, I believe that as life is changing rapidly, such
Correct article usage
a mindset
mindset
only slows us down and gets in the way of greater success.
There is an old saying that "nothing ventured, nothing gained" which means Correct article usage
a mindset
risk takers
view challenges as learning Add a hyphen
risk-takers
opportunies
rather than a peril to stay awayCorrect your spelling
opportunities
.
Change preposition
from.
This
is to say that only by stepping out of the playground of mediocity
that they are able to try out new things and push the Correct your spelling
mediocrity
boudaries
of Correct your spelling
boundaries
possiblities
. In fact, no historical figure has ever made a difference by playing it safe and being mediocre but they chose to take calculated Correct your spelling
possibilities
risks
. Take the founder of Ford as an example, he would have never invented the automobile if he had listened to the naysayers and refused to improve the engine from time to time until it became the renowned Ford cars we see today. Therefore
, I am of the opinion that without trying new things, no greatness is accomplished.
In conclusion, although
staying the same can bring a sense of safe
and comfort, people should consider taking Replace the word
safety
risks
is
a requisite for success. For all the reasons above, the benefits of having an adventurous mind outweigh its drawbacks.Correct your spelling
as
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. This can be improved by having distinct paragraphs for each main idea, and using transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are crucial for an effective essay. Make sure your introduction outlines the essay's stance and main points, while the conclusion summarizes these points and restates your position in a powerful way.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your main points are supported with clear examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Provide a more thorough response to the task by exploring both sides of the argument more deeply. While your position is clear, examining counterpoints before refuting them can add depth to your analysis.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas further. While your essay addresses the topic, delving deeper into each point with more detailed explanations or examples can enhance understanding and impact.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific, relevant examples to support your points. Using a wider range of detailed examples can illustrate your arguments more effectively and make them more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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