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Writing Samples /
Band 4

“Many university students live with families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places.” What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

#“many #university #students #families #home #universities #places #situations
The majority of the population
are considering
Wrong verb form
considers
show examples
 that
people
 from
Genz
 are as reliable as their ancestors. The root reason for
this
 is the attempt
in grasping
Change preposition
to grasp
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 opportunities in a
capitalism
Replace the word
capitalist
show examples
 society.
However
,
this
 writer contends that
this
 is an advance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because of
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 enhancement acquired. The dishonesty of
GenZ
 primarily stems from the gradual development of
capitalism
 around the world currently. To explain in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, improvement in
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 economy presently has facilitated the
appreance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 of new financial and job opportunities.
Therefore
, many countries have turned
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the capitalism
show examples
capitalism
Replace the word
capitalist
show examples
 model to leverage those chances, resulting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes in individuals'
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 when
people
 have to widen their relationships to grasp economic offers.
As a result
,
people
, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
borned
Correct your spelling
born
 in the transition like
GenZ
, start subordinating honesty to reputation and
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 impression in
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 to
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 trend.
Nevertheless
,
GenZ
 having a penchant for being unreliable is a positive advance for the
overall
 economy.
Although
this
 cult may raise the apprehension between human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, it definitely will help in enhancing individuals' financial
statement
Fix the agreement mistake
statements
show examples
 and standard of living. To put it simply,
people
 engaging in practical relationships will assist them in searching
prospective
Change preposition
for prospective
show examples
 benefits and
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
,
hence
,
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their
lives'
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 quality.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research from
China
Change noun form
China's
show examples
 historical
institutuon
Correct your spelling
institution
institutions
 has revealed that the world has seen more inventions than any other time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history in the
last
 decade thanks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the contribution of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
genereation
Correct your spelling
generation
 as
GenZ
. Taking all points into account, the trend of
GenZ
 being more dishonest than their ancestors derives from the prevalence of
capitalism
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
By contrast
,
this
 tendency is an advantageous development for the world because it improves the
overall
 economy
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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the given prompt. The response seems to discuss a different topic (the reliability and honesty of Gen Z in a capitalist society) rather than comparing the advantages and disadvantages of university students living with families vs. living away from home.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a clear and logical structure. Start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your position, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each side of the argument (advantages and disadvantages), and conclude with a summary of your main points.
task response
Make sure your main points are well-supported with relevant examples or evidence. Rather than broadly discussing generational differences, focus on providing clear examples that illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of each living situation for university students.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, use transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your argument flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your logic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly relate to the topic. The introduction should set up the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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