IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

International organizations should provide developing countries with practical aid and advice rather than financial aid.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#organizations #countries #aid #advice
It is thought that practical
aid
 ought to be provided and advised to developing countries
instead
 of financial
aid
 by international organizations, in my aspect, I partially agree with the thought. At first glance, a number of countries tend to give
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
importance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 medical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
as a result
 of diseases' appearances, a fair portion of the crowds believe that practical
aid
 is more crucial than financial
aid
 since the government reaps the budget every year
Submitted by nutthan.aud on

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Introduction Development
Ensure you develop a clear introduction that outlines your stance and main points. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.
Logical Structure
Your essay should have a logical flow. Connect your ideas and paragraphs using appropriate linking words and phrases.
Supporting Ideas
In your body paragraphs, expand your main points by adding more detailed examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument.
Conclusion Development
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. This reinforces your stance to the reader.
Task Response Improvement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that you respond to all parts of the question. Develop clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant and specific examples support.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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