Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that
celebrities
's support towards international aid organizations draws
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
show examples
attention to the issue,
while
some oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the outcome
concerning
Correct word choice
because
show examples
they make the issue less
severity
Replace the word
severe
show examples
. Both perspectives have valid points, but I believe public
awareness
brings more pros than cons to the global issue. On one hand, people who oppose
to
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apply
show examples
celebrities
' promotion
on
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of
show examples
global
issues
mainly
worries
Correct subject-verb agreement
worry
show examples
that they would oversimplify and misinform
issues
, bringing
neggative
Correct your spelling
negative
impact indirectly. It is true that some
celebrities
spread their messages before fully
research
Wrong verb form
researching
show examples
or understanding
on
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apply
show examples
the topics. These
celebrities
spare no effort to draw public'
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
to amplify their impact in order to gain more
followings
Replace the word
followers
show examples
. They only care about sharing
exacuratted
Correct your spelling
exaggerated
messages which appeal to the public.
Consequencely
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, the misinformed messages would bring public
awareness
and couple with negative impact.
However
, public
awareness
is crucial for global
issues
no matter
it
Correct word choice
whether it
show examples
is positive or negative. There are tons of
issues
happening every second in the world. Without the large followings and enormous social media influence from the
celecrities
Correct your spelling
celebrities
, people can hardly notice those severe problems. After acknowledging, at least a part of people would do their own research
,
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apply
show examples
and even support within their ability.
Overall
,
celebrities
can
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global
issues
in front of the public. No matter the
awareness
is positive or negative, it is important to
brings
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bring
show examples
up
discussion
Correct article usage
a discussion
show examples
in the first step.
Submitted by ruby9512 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the two views and your stance. This sets the direction for your essay.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, develop your main points with detailed examples. For instance, mention specific cases where celebrity involvement had a positive or negative impact.
coherence cohesion
Work on the accuracy of your language including spelling, grammar, and punctuation. For example, correct 'neggative' to 'negative', 'exacuratted' to 'exaggerated', and use 'celebrities' instead of 'celecrities'.
coherence cohesion
Transition smoothly between paragraphs and ideas using linking words ('However', 'On the other hand', etc.). This enhances the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorse
  • international aid organizations
  • public awareness
  • amplify
  • advocacy
  • systemic change
  • oversimplification
  • trivialization
  • undermining
  • severity
  • misinformed advocacy
  • distorts
  • hamper
  • guided by experts
  • constructive
  • strategically
What to do next:
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