Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

Some individuals

argues

Change the verb form

argue

show examples

that

celebrities

's support towards international aid organizations draws

public's

Correct article usage

the public's

show examples

attention to the issue,

while

some oppose

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the outcome

concerning

Correct word choice

because

show examples

they make the issue less

severity

Replace the word

severe

show examples

. Both perspectives have valid points, but I believe public

awareness

brings more pros than cons to the global issue. On one hand, people who oppose

Change preposition

apply

show examples

celebrities

' promotion

Change preposition

show examples

global

issues

mainly

worries

Correct subject-verb agreement

worry

show examples

that they would oversimplify and misinform

issues

, bringing

neggative

Correct your spelling

negative

impact indirectly. It is true that some

celebrities

spread their messages before fully

research

Wrong verb form

researching

show examples

or understanding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the topics. These

celebrities

spare no effort to draw public'

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

to amplify their impact in order to gain more

followings

Replace the word

followers

show examples

. They only care about sharing

exacuratted

Correct your spelling

exaggerated

messages which appeal to the public.

Consequencely

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, the misinformed messages would bring public

awareness

and couple with negative impact.

However

, public

awareness

is crucial for global

issues

no matter

Correct word choice

whether it

show examples

is positive or negative. There are tons of

issues

happening every second in the world. Without the large followings and enormous social media influence from the

celecrities

Correct your spelling

celebrities

, people can hardly notice those severe problems. After acknowledging, at least a part of people would do their own research

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and even support within their ability.

Overall

celebrities

can

truely

Correct your spelling

truly

bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global

issues

in front of the public. No matter the

awareness

is positive or negative, it is important to

brings

Change the verb

bring

show examples

discussion

Correct article usage

a discussion

show examples

in the first step.

Submitted by ruby9512 on Mon Mar 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the two views and your stance. This sets the direction for your essay.

task achievement

In the body paragraphs, develop your main points with detailed examples. For instance, mention specific cases where celebrity involvement had a positive or negative impact.

coherence cohesion

Work on the accuracy of your language including spelling, grammar, and punctuation. For example, correct 'neggative' to 'negative', 'exacuratted' to 'exaggerated', and use 'celebrities' instead of 'celecrities'.

coherence cohesion

Transition smoothly between paragraphs and ideas using linking words ('However', 'On the other hand', etc.). This enhances the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

230 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

endorse
international aid organizations
public awareness
amplify
advocacy
systemic change
oversimplification
trivialization
undermining
severity
misinformed advocacy
distorts
hamper
guided by experts
constructive
strategically

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The increasing homogeneity observed worldwide can be attributed to the standardization of education and the influence of international policy frameworks
The increasing homogeneity observed worldwide can be attributed to the standardization of education and the influence of international policy frameworks. Educational systems across the globe are progressively embracing comparable curricula and instructional methodologies, often shaped by international benchmarks. Moreover, global agreements on trade, environmental sustainability, and technology have fostered the adoption of standardized practices on a global scale.
7
band
A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
It is undeniable that fitness is much more important in our daily lives. In our home country, even though many workers are prolonged for a long time, they should be concerned about their diets and physical exercises. This essay will outline local people how to stay healthier, provide relevant examples and conclude the topic.
7
band
Some people think it is harmful for people to watch advertisements, others think it improves our lives. Discuss both views and give your own.
Advertisements are one of the main marketing strategies taken by companies with a view to ensuring forecasted sales for their produced products. A group of individuals often believe that displaying advertisements has a negative impact on the public, while a large number of manpower support this goods marketing strategy as it plays a vital role in developing the human lifestyle.
4.5
band
Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Since time immemorial, food hasalwaysbeen a controversial minefield of human life. Declining detail information of food's nutrition is what has been considered by restaurants. However, this thesis can include some negative sides, but advantages of it clearly overshadow its drawbacks.
6
band
Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professionals and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think it is a positive development or negative development?
In this contemporary epoch, sport is becoming a business-oriented activity and it is losing its importance as an activity to represent fun and passion. This changing scenario helps in increasing the government’s GDP as well. This essay will delve into its advantages and will lead to a logical conclusion.

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The increasing homogeneity observed worldwide can be attributed to the standardization of education and the influence of international policy frameworks

Some people think it is harmful for people to watch advertisements, others think it improves our lives. Discuss both views and give your own.

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professionals and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think it is a positive development or negative development?