Mnay people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#mnay #people #world #media #touch #news #events

Along with

the proliferation of

technology

, some people tap into social networking sites to make contact with others and keep track of global events. Personally, the writer believes

this

is beneficial as the merits of saving money and instant information access far outweigh the risk of

addition

Correct your spelling

addiction

show examples

. the prime advantage of

technology

is reducing delivery

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

. It is universally acknowledged that the way we

contact

Wrong verb form

contacted

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

othr

Correct your spelling

other

people in the past,

for example

snail-mailing,

requires

Wrong verb form

required

show examples

postmen to send words to recipients.

This

can cost dollars for a letter in comparison with

free

Add an article

a free

the free

show examples

charge of social media.

Thus

, using

technology

to communicate is definitely an economical measure.

However

technophobe

Fix the agreement mistake

technophobes

show examples

may say that

overeliance

Correct your spelling

overreliance

on social apps can eventually lead to addiction. They say,

for

Correct word choice

that for

show examples

children whose cognitive development has yet to be fully developed, unlimited exposure to screens makes them increasingly sedentary or worse still causes obesity.

This

can be solved with the support from parents who manage their child's time in order to take advantage

from

Change preposition

show examples

modern

technology

to the fullest. Thereby,

technology

turns out a powerful assistant for youngsters if they use it appropriately. From the writer's perspective, the advent of social networking sites

also

enables users to catch up with the latest news. The key reason is that people now can share information quickly on various virtual platforms.

For instance

, a scandal of a Vietnamese singer quickly

reaches

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

citizens once it was posted on Facebook.

Therefore

technology

allows news to spread immediately. Taking all points into account, using social media has both pros and cons.

Nevertheless

this

author significantly notices the benefits of saving money and time more than the mishap of addiction.

Mon Mar 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary

Improve the range and accuracy of your vocabulary to clearly express ideas and arguments. Avoid repetition and use synonyms where possible.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the organization of your essay by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed coherently. This includes using a variety of cohesive devices effectively.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages before stating your opinion. Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

Grammar

Revisit grammar structures to improve accuracy and range. Pay attention to tense usage, prepositions, and article use. Complex sentence structures can help convey your points more effectively but be careful with their construction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Despite major advancements in agricultural technology, millions of people still experience hunger worldwide. This essay will examine the key causes of the issue and propose potential solutions.
7
band
Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is becoming increasingly common for parents to encourage their children to work part-time to fill their spare time. Although it appears to make children ignore their responsibility to study and have a lack of time to explore themselves, this essay believes the advantages overshadow the drawbacks, as it is an excellent way to introduce working culture and foster their skills.
5
band
Celebrities’ Private Lives Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the celebrity´s life is always in the public record and under the spotlight.Of course that social media enables celebrities to maintain a continuous presence in the public eye. This essay totally agrees that famous people have their private life which should be away from the social media and the public life. Stars are human so they have the right to their privacy. Everyone deserves a boundry between their public life and private life.
5.5
band
The amount of time spent on sport and exercise should be increased in school to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?
The specified time allocated for sports activities should be extended in school to address obesity problems for students. Given that increasing sports classes in the curriculum has many substantial benefits for weight control of students, there are also other crucial solutions to effectively address the problem of overweightweight students such as teaching them to choose a well-balanced diet and active parental involvement to afford them healthy environments. In the following, we will elaborate more on the advantages of increasing sports times as well as discuss additional factors that contribute to solving the root causes of overweight problems significantly.
5.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become a teacher. Why do young people do not want to become teachers? How this could be changed? Write at least 250 words.
The world is demanding teachers day by day, with job opportunities especially for the young generation. However, the modern generation shows less interest in this area. This essay will discuss how to help young people become educators by using all the opportunities.

Mnay people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Celebrities’ Private Lives Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The amount of time spent on sport and exercise should be increased in school to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become a teacher. Why do young people do not want to become teachers? How this could be changed? Write at least 250 words.