Mnay people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Along with
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the proliferation of
technology
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, some people tap into social networking sites to make contact with others and keep track of global events. Personally, the writer believes
this
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is beneficial as the merits of saving money and instant information access far outweigh the risk of
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
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. the prime advantage of
technology
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is reducing delivery
fee
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fees
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. It is universally acknowledged that the way we
contact
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contacted
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with
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apply
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othr
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other
people in the past,
for example
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snail-mailing,
requires
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required
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postmen to send words to recipients.
This
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can cost dollars for a letter in comparison with
free
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a free
the free
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charge of social media.
Thus
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, using
technology
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to communicate is definitely an economical measure.
However
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,
technophobe
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technophobes
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may say that
overeliance
Correct your spelling
overreliance
on social apps can eventually lead to addiction. They say,
for
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that for
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children whose cognitive development has yet to be fully developed, unlimited exposure to screens makes them increasingly sedentary or worse still causes obesity.
This
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can be solved with the support from parents who manage their child's time in order to take advantage
from
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of
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modern
technology
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to the fullest. Thereby,
technology
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turns out a powerful assistant for youngsters if they use it appropriately. From the writer's perspective, the advent of social networking sites
also
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enables users to catch up with the latest news. The key reason is that people now can share information quickly on various virtual platforms.
For instance
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, a scandal of a Vietnamese singer quickly
reaches
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reached
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citizens once it was posted on Facebook.
Therefore
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,
technology
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allows news to spread immediately. Taking all points into account, using social media has both pros and cons.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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author significantly notices the benefits of saving money and time more than the mishap of addiction.

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Vocabulary
Improve the range and accuracy of your vocabulary to clearly express ideas and arguments. Avoid repetition and use synonyms where possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the organization of your essay by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed coherently. This includes using a variety of cohesive devices effectively.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages before stating your opinion. Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
Grammar
Revisit grammar structures to improve accuracy and range. Pay attention to tense usage, prepositions, and article use. Complex sentence structures can help convey your points more effectively but be careful with their construction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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