Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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People
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, by and large, utilize social networking daily to contact other
people
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and look for news. In spite of the abundance of data and the place for talking with strange
people
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online ,
this
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writer believes that overusing it and
credibility
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the credibility
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of the
information
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seem
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seems
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to exceed the benefits. Admittedly, social
media
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brings many advantages in terms of connecting with other
people
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. Indeed, by using it, everyone can easily keep in touch with their friends regardless of distance.
This
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helps them save
much
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a lot of
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time and is very convenient to bring along. taking overseas students
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for
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, for
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example, they now can talk with their relatives on a regular basis
although
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they study in another nation.
Furthermore
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, many
people
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can access the newest
information
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quickly via social networking because it is the place where everybody interacts with each other by sharing what they like. Despite the benefits mentioned above, the negatives are more significant. It is true because many
people
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are addicted to social
media
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.
This
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makes everyone
cannot totally able
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unable
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to focus on their work and waste most of their time just surfing the Internet or chatting with their friends, which leads to being less effective at work.
Moreover
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, everyone has
their
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the
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rights
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right
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to post what they like on social
media
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, which means that there may be inaccurate
information
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or unsuitable-to-children data on it. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that using social
media
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for chatting and getting news is good, but
peoples’
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people’
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may be affected negatively if they overdose
it
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on it
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as well
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as
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or
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getting
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get
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wrong
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the wrong
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information
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.

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response score, ensure that your essay answers the question directly, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of social media usage and making a clear judgment on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. Strive to fully develop your arguments with more detailed explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a good logical structure overall, but some points could be developed further for clarity and strength. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, using clear topic sentences and developing ideas coherently. Consider the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for improved readability.
Task Achievement
To bolster your points, incorporate more specific and relevant examples that illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of social media. Also, consider exploring a wider range of impacts, balancing both sides of the argument more effectively. This will help to provide a more comprehensive response to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding a concluding sentence to each paragraph to sum up the main idea and relate it back to the question. This can help enhance the coherence of your essay and ensure that each paragraph contributes effectively to your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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