Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
People
, by and large, utilize social networking daily to contact other people
and look for news. In spite of the abundance of data and the place for talking with strange people
online ,this
writer believes that overusing it and credibility
of the Correct article usage
the credibility
information
seem
to exceed the benefits.
Admittedly, social Change the verb form
seems
media
brings many advantages in terms of connecting with other people
. Indeed, by using it, everyone can easily keep in touch with their friends regardless of distance. This
helps them save much
time and is very convenient to bring along. taking overseas students Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
for
example, they now can talk with their relatives on a regular basis Add the comma(s)
, for
although
they study in another nation. Furthermore
, many people
can access the newest information
quickly via social networking because it is the place where everybody interacts with each other by sharing what they like.
Despite the benefits mentioned above, the negatives are more significant. It is true because many people
are addicted to social media
. This
makes everyone cannot totally able
to focus on their work and waste most of their time just surfing the Internet or chatting with their friends, which leads to being less effective at work. Verb problem
unable
Moreover
, everyone has their
Change the word
the
rights
to post what they like on social Fix the agreement mistake
right
media
, which means that there may be inaccurate information
or unsuitable-to-children data on it.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that using social media
for chatting and getting news is good, but peoples’
may be affected negatively if they overdose Fix the agreement mistake
people’
it
Change preposition
on it
as well
as
Correct word choice
or
getting
Wrong verb form
get
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
information
.Submitted by zky1705202 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your task response score, ensure that your essay answers the question directly, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of social media usage and making a clear judgment on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. Strive to fully develop your arguments with more detailed explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a good logical structure overall, but some points could be developed further for clarity and strength. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, using clear topic sentences and developing ideas coherently. Consider the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for improved readability.
Task Achievement
To bolster your points, incorporate more specific and relevant examples that illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of social media. Also, consider exploring a wider range of impacts, balancing both sides of the argument more effectively. This will help to provide a more comprehensive response to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding a concluding sentence to each paragraph to sum up the main idea and relate it back to the question. This can help enhance the coherence of your essay and ensure that each paragraph contributes effectively to your overall argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
