IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In contemporary
times
Use synonyms
, technological advancement
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a vital role in most
people
Use synonyms
's activity particularly the usage of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
. The developments
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
throughout the years
providing
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 benefits in many aspects of life. I firmly agree that computers
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 a crucial invention for
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 essay will describe the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, computers have many changes from the past to the present
times
Use synonyms
. In previous
times
Use synonyms
, it was
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
expensive stuff for
people
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 writing machines
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 their working
times
Use synonyms
 which
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
enermous
Correct your spelling
energy
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 opt to use laptops which is providing an easy way to finish their tasks
paper less
Correct your spelling
paperless
show examples
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, it is good for nature and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can use it for searching updated news
withouh
Correct your spelling
without
waiting
Add the preposition
waiting for
show examples
 the subscribed newspapers which are delivered to their homes.
Additionally
Linking Words
, ancient
people
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulty reaching their remote family.
Hoewever
Correct your spelling
However
, they can catch
people
Use synonyms
 around the world by using social networks on their web browsers.
For example
Linking Words
, they can use
Facebook
Correct article usage
the Facebook
show examples
 platform
talking
Change the verb form
to talk
show examples
 with their friends or family
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
either by chats or video calls.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the students not only learn from their books but
also
Linking Words
 can take online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. For illustrate, many teenagers
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 online courses like
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 courses, public speaking
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
, or online
webinar
Fix the agreement mistake
webinars
show examples
 to encourage their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers have positive roles for
people
Use synonyms
 to face the advance of technology and modern globalization in
people
Use synonyms
's daily activities. Not only for adults but
also
Linking Words
 for juveniles.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial for nature too.

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task achievement
For task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed fully. Expand your argument with detailed analysis and examples. Aim to explore each point thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph and make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices beyond 'moreover,' 'furthermore,' and 'however.' Aim for variety in linking words to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
task achievement
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos. Correct usage of articles, tenses, and prepositions will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revolutionized
  • Productivity
  • Efficiency
  • Integration
  • Transform
  • Facilitating
  • Instant connections
  • Expand
  • Geographical barriers
  • Research and data analysis
  • Vast amounts of data
  • Privacy concerns
  • Digital divide
  • Dependency on technology
  • Interconnectedness
  • Innovations
  • Discoveries
  • Contention
  • Significant inventions
  • Accelerating the pace
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