IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs show the monthly expenditure of an average household in Australia and France.

The graphs show the monthly expenditure of an average household in Australia and France.
The pie graphs illustrate information concerning a household's average spending per month in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
. As clearly seen from the pie graph, the highest expenditures were education at 30% in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and clothing at 32% in
France
Use synonyms
. The education expenditure in
France
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 was only a third of the
figure
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the clothing spending in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was just under a fifth of the
figure
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
. On recreation, Australians spent an average of 27%,
whereas
Linking Words
 French spent just under a
third,
Linking Words
the
figure
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 at 8%. In terms of restaurants, the
figure
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 was 6% and just over tripled the
figure
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
In particular
Linking Words
, the expenditures on furnishings and medical care in the two countries had the same figures at 10% and 8%, respectively. When it comes to transport expenditures, there were less than 10% in the two countries. French households spent 19% on footwear,
while
Linking Words
 Australians spent only 2% on it.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, france, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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