Now a days some parents give money to their children if they perform well at school. Do you think this is good or bad friend ?

#parents #money #children #school #friend

These days, an increasing number of parents give

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

weakly money if they achieve good

greads

Correct your spelling

grades

in their

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

this

is a positive development because it allows parents to teach money management skills, and it enables children to learn independently how to manage

thier

Correct your spelling

their

allowance. The main reason parents

Submitted by parvinkumar0794 on Mon Mar 18 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand on your ideas by including more detailed examples and reasoning. The essay begins to address why monetizing academic accomplishments is positive, but does not fully explore or conclude these thoughts.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure you write a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay needs a more defined conclusion where you reiterate your main points and conclusion clearly. Also, consider starting your essay with a more engaging introduction.

Language Use

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'weakly money' instead of 'weekly money', 'greads' instead of 'grades', and 'thier' instead of 'their'. These mistakes can distract from your overall message.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use paragraphs effectively to organize your ideas. Currently, your essay lacks clear paragraphing which makes it difficult for the reader to differentiate between the introduction, body, and conclusion of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

54 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Now a days some parents give money to their children if they perform well at school. Do you think this is good or bad friend ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some other cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is a better development?

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.