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Band 4

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
In recent years lots of economic expenditure has been used to study space projects yearly. most of the individual presenting their thought that all expenditures can be utilized in the development of living life of human beings on
this
 planet. On behalf of
this
 statement, I am standing on the part of agreeing and my discussion explaining my opinion with an example. firstmost on
this
 planet lots of countries where people
do not
Verb problem
cannot
show examples
 afford one-time food for their families
due to
 poverty,if we take the example of the African region ,lots of people are struggling to arrange two times food to feed their children because
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 government has not sufficient budget to improve their life or help them, so
instead
 of expending finance to space project study that amount can
be elevate
Change the verb form
elevate
show examples
 their life if we support or donate that money for their government for the people of Africa. In my second
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 some countries lack drinking
water
 or underground
water
 is no longer available in that region of the country, in that
Fix the agreement mistake
case
show examples
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 we can invest money to get
water
 resources by making some infrastructure to get drinking
water
 to their citizens.
This
 effort will build great support to the way of development of that country. In conclusion, spending money on space studies is not worth it until each individual
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our planet
will not get a facility of
Verb problem
has
show examples
 pure
water
, food, shelter, clothes and healthcare facilities.
Submitted by sharma666666 on

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Task Achievement
Try to expand your examples with more context. Instead of broadly mentioning the African region, offer a specific instance or study that supports your argument. This will make your points more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure clarity in your argument by structuring your essay more clearly. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and conclude it with a summary sentence that ties back to your thesis.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and range. Incorrect verb tenses, article use, and preposition choice can detract from your message. Consider practicing specific grammar points you find challenging.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on developing a strong introduction and conclusion. Clearly state your stance in the introduction and summarize your main points effectively in the conclusion. This helps reinforce your argument to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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