Now a days, Many People have to work longer hours, and then feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employer do to make their employee's life easier?

#people #work #hours #stress #workplace #employer #employee #life

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Working every day for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time can

conduct

Verb problem

cause

show examples

people to be

over stressed

Add a hyphen

over-stressed

show examples

. After ten hours spent in

office

Correct article usage

the office

show examples

or in the shop is natural for

bodies

Fix the agreement mistake

the body to

show examples

feel tired. When

ones

Replace the word

one

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

this

emotive condition

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

afraid

Change preposition

show examples

Verb problem

making

show examples

mistakes

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

them stressed. Nowadays everything has to be done quickly, and often we can not take

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

breaks. Smart employers began to think about the mental status of their workers, and they

try

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

new methods to meet the needs of their

employee's

Change noun form

employees

show examples

. New timetable of work, new

relax

Replace the word

relaxed

show examples

spaces, and not less

important

Change the word

importantly

show examples

, the possibility for the new mothers to take with them baby's and leave them in specific protected spaces.

This

is a huge economic effort for

employer's

Change noun form

employers

show examples

, but I think

that is

the right way to follow for the happiness of their workers.

Submitted by Ste on Mon Mar 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop your introduction and conclusion more distinctly to guide readers through your essay. An introduction should set up the topic and your viewpoint clearly, while the conclusion should succinctly wrap up your arguments and state your final stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs, each devoted to a specific point or argument. Begin paragraphs with a topic sentence that states the point clearly, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on or prove the point.

Task Achievement

Increase your response to the task by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. While you've touched on both reasons for workplace stress and employer solutions, each section could be further developed with more detailed explanations and examples.

Task Achievement

Incorporate a wider range of specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and provide concrete evidence for your points. Specific examples make your essay more persuasive and engaging.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance the clarity of your ideas by precisely defining your arguments and using transitions to link your ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. This will help make your essay more cohesive and understandable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

136 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?
The popularity of international travel is growing with the decrease in travel expenses in many parts of the world. There are advantages to this rise, like cultural exchange, and infrastructure developments. There are also drawbacks like pollution and overcrowding by tourists.
6
band
In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?
In many nations, the majority of residents do not have enough money to use the Internet. Should the government make sure that the whole population has access to the network?
6
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?
These days, the works are available for different ages, and some jobs are for children . So, some people think that is a wrong idea, while others think to learn and get experience, children should participate in some types of paid work. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.
5
band
The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)
The present teaching methods and the student's learning will change in the next three decades. This essay totally agrees with this statement because the students requirements increase according to the continue development of the technology year by year and the new studies of teaching methods that match the new generations.
7.5
band
Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that children’s actions must be strictly controlled. However, others argue that allowing children to behave as they desire is more beneficial. I firmly agree with the statement that supports letting children act freely without strict enforcement.

Now a days, Many People have to work longer hours, and then feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employer do to make their employee's life easier?

Fully explain your ideas

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?

In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.