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Writing Samples
Band 7

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time.

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time.
#first #passengers #train #sydney #second #information #percentage #trains #time
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The two given line graphs provide us with information
with
Change preposition
on
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 the number of train
passengers
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 on the one side, and the percentage of trains running on time on the other side, in Sydney between the years 1995 and 2004. The number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 is presented in millions. What
initially
Linking Words
 stands out in the first graph is the all-time high of
passengers
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2001, reaching a soaring 300 million
travelers
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travellers
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the numbers dropped significantly one
year
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 later, counting 20 million
less
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fewer
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passengers
Use synonyms
. The sum
further
Linking Words
 stabilized itself and showed no significant changes between
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 2003 and 2004.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the biggest change in the percentage of trains running on time is noticed as the numbers drastically plummet from
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
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 2003 to
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
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 2004, falling from just above 90 per cent to a little over 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 was not the only slump in the mentioned graph.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the numbers were continuously falling between the years 1995 and 1997,
as well as
Linking Words
 199 and 2000,
although
Linking Words
 not as sharply.
Submitted by nadja.andric6 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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