IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time.

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time.
#first #passengers #train #sydney #second #information #percentage #trains #time
The two given line graphs provide us with information
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the number of train
passengers
 on the one side, and the percentage of trains running on time on the other side, in Sydney between the years 1995 and 2004. The number of
passengers
 is presented in millions. What
initially
 stands out in the first graph is the all-time high of
passengers
 in the
year
 2001, reaching a soaring 300 million
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, the numbers dropped significantly one
year
 later, counting 20 million
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
passengers
. The sum
further
 stabilized itself and showed no significant changes between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2003 and 2004.
On the other hand
, the biggest change in the percentage of trains running on time is noticed as the numbers drastically plummet from
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2003 to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2004, falling from just above 90 per cent to a little over 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
,
this
 was not the only slump in the mentioned graph.
Likewise
, the numbers were continuously falling between the years 1995 and 1997,
as well as
 199 and 2000,
although
 not as sharply.
Submitted by nadja.andric6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: