You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration. In the letter: •mention what course you would like to attend •give details about your educational background and work experience •say why you choose this college

#course #college #english #country #administration #•mention #•give #background #work #•say

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Dear Sir , I am writing

this

letter to know about the availability of the management

course

from

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Cambridge College which is very popular for international students. I have done my graduate in computer science from Guru Nana Dev University which is situated in India ,

currently

Add a comma

currently,

show examples

Wrong verb form

have been

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working with

international

Correct article usage

an international

show examples

company in

Correct article usage

the IT

show examples

department

past

Change preposition

for past

show examples

from

Change preposition

apply

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two years. My manager

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

me a suggestion to complete

this

course

which will help me to polish my skills and talent and allow me to work with

professional

Add an article

a professional

show examples

attitude.

Moreover

, work ethics are really important in my job

therefore

, I become more familiar with it through

this

course

. I

choose

Wrong verb form

chose

show examples

this

college because my cousin told me about the teaching methods of

this

college which are majestic and spectacular . He has done his degree from the same premise and he is an operational manager in

the well know

Correct your spelling

a well-known

show examples

company which is based in England. Let me know when the full details of

this

course

so, I can join as soon as possible. I am looking forward to hearing from you . Yours faithfully, Jai

Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on Tue Mar 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider using a more formal greeting (e.g., 'Dear [Position/Name],' instead of a generic 'Dear Sir ,'). Additionally, include a proper closing before your name, such as 'Yours sincerely' aligned with the tone of the letter.

Task Achievement

Ensure the correct use of punctuation, especially commas and periods. Spaces should follow punctuation marks, not precede them (e.g., 'Dear Sir,' instead of 'Dear Sir ,').

Coherence & Cohesion

Structure your letter clearly by introducing each topic in separate paragraphs. Start with your interest in the course, follow with your background, and conclude with why you've chosen the college. This was done reasonably well, but could be more strategically emphasized.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance the coherence of your letter by connecting ideas more smoothly. Use transition words or phrases to create better flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' 'Therefore,' can help in creating a smoother transition.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

185 words

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