IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two bar charts
illutrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the destination of
UK
students
 after leaving college in 2008.The first bar displays the
UK
graduates
Change noun form
graduate's
graduates'
show examples
 destination and the second bar shows the
UK
postgraduates
Change noun form
postgraduate's
postgraduates'
show examples
 destination namely part-time
work
 ,voluntary
work
 ,
further
 study and unemployment . As seen from the chart above ,most of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 from both bars
seen to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
go for
further
Correct article usage
the further
show examples
 study option with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
29,665
Change preposition
of 29,665
show examples
 and 2,725
students
, respectively.
In contrast
 , fewer
students
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
voluntary
work
 with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
only
Change preposition
of only
show examples
 3,845
students
 after
completed
Wrong verb form
completing
show examples
 their
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academics
.Next ,part-time
work
 is second in trends for the
UK
students
 to pick with figures of 17,735 and 2,535
students
 each.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, after
left
Change the form of the verb
leaving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college ,
many
Change the article
a many
the many
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
students
 are still hardly finding
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 job
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
an
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 in 2008 with a number of 17,860 in total .
Overall
 , both graduates will continue to increase their knowledge and skills by
further
 their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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