Some of people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what xtent do you agree or disagree?
#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children #xtent
The bar graph describes what types of
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
do
people like during the summer months, from countries Ireland, Norway, Japan, Canada, and New Zealand.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Overall
, people from Ireland and Canadian
both Replace the word
Canada
prefer
go on their Add the particle
prefer to
vocation
Correct your spelling
vacation
on
Change preposition
to
beach
, Add an article
the beach
while
Japanese and New Zealandia are more enjoy spending time in city
. Apart from that, camping is the most popular in Norway.
Add an article
the city
Firstly
, city
is the first option that most Japanese would choose for their holiday, which is Add an article
the city
pitch
nearly seven in ten. It means mainly they would spend time Wrong verb form
pitched
in
downtown rather than beach or Change preposition
apply
camp site
, which are both below Correct your spelling
campsite
one fifth
. At the same time, Add a hyphen
one-fifth
New
Zealand as well, nearly Change preposition
in New
a
half of them Correct article usage
apply
is
more likely Correct subject-verb agreement
are
staying
in Change the verb form
to stay
city
. For Add an article
the city
Irelander
and Replace the word
Ireland
Canadian
, the percentage of Fix the agreement mistake
Canadians
beach
reaches a little bit lower than Fix the agreement mistake
beaches
one sixth
and a half. Add a hyphen
one-sixth
Besides
, the figure of
camping in Norway Change preposition
for
gets
around 50%.Verb problem
is
Submitted by dayowong095 on
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task response
Appear to comprehend the essay topic incorrectly, having confused it with a task of describing a bar graph. Start by clearly understanding the question or topic provided. If it asks for an opinion, ensure you construct your essay around that directive rather than presenting data or information unrelated to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks a logical flow and appropriate paragraphing that efficiently guide the reader through your argument or narrative. Work on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
task achievement
Your response didn't address the essay prompt about opinions on unpaid community service as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Instead, you provided a descriptive analysis of a bar graph. It's crucial to address the task directly. To improve, practice understanding and responding directly to the essay prompts. Make sure every paragraph serves to answer the task in some way.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.