Historical artifacts should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extend do you agree/disagree?
In contemporary days, the issue of shipping ancient items to their original nations sparked debates. Some advocate bringing back these
artifacts
for potential benefits, Change the spelling
artefacts
while
another
disagree with Correct quantifier usage
others
this
. Diving deeply and explaining why I agree with repatriation
of those objects are the main aim of Add an article
the repatriation
this
essay.
On the one hand, the process of shipping historical artifacts
is believed to associate with problems of fee Change the spelling
artefacts
as well as
quality
. First of all, the owners of the items have to pay the charge of researching and transmitting including cutting-edge technologies, researchers, exceptional
transportation which are needed to identify the resource, dynasty, and Correct word choice
and exceptional
the
Correct article usage
apply
quality
of the artifacts
during the process. As Change the spelling
artefacts
the
consequence, Correct article usage
a
national
budget will Correct article usage
the national
loss
a large amount of money to pay for Replace the word
lose
this
leading to the lack of power and finance for the other necessary demands such
as army, traffic, food,...Moreover
, the objects can potentially broken due to
external factors during the process of shipping and study. For instance
, the tropical weather in some Asian nations is capable of cracking some kind of handicrafts. In
Change preposition
Overall
overall
, fee
and Fix the agreement mistake
fees
quality
are large barriers for people to make decision
. Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
However
, this
is
cannot Unnecessary verb
apply
shadow
the advantages thanks to Verb problem
outweigh
below
reasons.
Correct article usage
the below
On the other hand
, In spite of disadvantages
given above, the owner nations of commemorated antiques will obtain a profusion of merits, which makes me follow Correct article usage
the disadvantages
this
idea. The first one is the advantages from
education owing to the fact that historical objects make history alive Change preposition
of
to
future generations, who will have a better grasp of history, art and nature. Change preposition
for
This
makes
citizens Verb problem
gives
have
a deeper knowledge and Unnecessary verb
apply
also
changes the way students learn with better quality
. More importantly, increasing the number of domestic and foreign visitors to see these relics by its reputation additionally
enhances advertisement and stimulates the development of Fix the agreement mistake
other
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
Correct word choice
related
relating
fields Replace the word
related
such
as tourism, Correct word choice
and media
media
,… Correct word choice
and media
As a result
, not only does this
advances
the educational systems Correct subject-verb agreement
advance
from
providing practical Change preposition
by
example
but it Fix the agreement mistake
examples
also
increases the country’s outcome from multiple fields.
In conclusion, although
there is a great shortcoming of returning documented items regarding of
cost and Change preposition
apply
quality
. This
cannot be look
over because Wrong verb form
looked
country
will get diverse benefits Add an article
the country
such
as progressive education and tourism. That is
what makes me strongly agree with reinstating historical artifacts
to where Change the spelling
artefacts
it
originated.Correct pronoun usage
they
Submitted by vantueman496 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction Improvement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and outlines the essay's direction. This helps in initially setting a strong foundation for your argument.
Conclusion Improvement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points made throughout your essay more effectively. Restate your position clearly to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Logical Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence Improvement
Connect your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This enhances the flow of your essay and makes your argument more coherent.
Supporting Examples
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a better understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address the task more directly by explicitly stating the extent to which you agree or disagree in the introduction and conclusion. This makes your position clear and fulfills the task requirement more effectively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.