Historical artifacts should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extend do you agree/disagree?

In contemporary days, the issue of shipping ancient items to their original nations sparked debates. Some advocate bringing back these
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
for potential benefits,
while
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
disagree with
this
. Diving deeply and explaining why I agree with
repatriation
Add an article
the repatriation
show examples
of those objects are the main aim of
this
essay. On the one hand, the process of shipping historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
is believed to associate with problems of fee
as well as
quality
. First of all, the owners of the items have to pay the charge of researching and transmitting including cutting-edge technologies, researchers,
exceptional
Correct word choice
and exceptional
show examples
transportation which are needed to identify the resource, dynasty, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
of the
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
during the process. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
consequence,
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
budget will
loss
Replace the word
lose
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a large amount of money to pay for
this
leading to the lack of power and finance for the other necessary demands
such
as army, traffic, food,...
Moreover
, the objects can potentially broken
due to
external factors during the process of shipping and study.
For instance
, the tropical weather in some Asian nations is capable of cracking some kind of handicrafts.
In
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Overall
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overall
,
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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and
quality
are large barriers for people to make
decision
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decisions
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.
However
,
this
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cannot
shadow
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
the advantages thanks to
below
Correct article usage
the below
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reasons.
On the other hand
, In spite of
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
given above, the owner nations of commemorated antiques will obtain a profusion of merits, which makes me follow
this
idea. The first one is the advantages
from
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of
show examples
education owing to the fact that historical objects make history alive
to
Change preposition
for
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future generations, who will have a better grasp of history, art and nature.
This
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
citizens
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a deeper knowledge and
also
changes the way students learn with better
quality
. More importantly, increasing the number of domestic and foreign visitors to see these relics by its reputation
additionally
enhances advertisement and stimulates the development of
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
Correct word choice
related
show examples
relating
Replace the word
related
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fields
such
as tourism,
Correct word choice
and media
show examples
media
Correct word choice
and media
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,…
As a result
, not only does
this
advances
Correct subject-verb agreement
advance
show examples
the educational systems
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
providing practical
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
but it
also
increases the country’s outcome from multiple fields. In conclusion,
although
there is a great shortcoming of returning documented items regarding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cost and
quality
.
This
cannot be
look
Wrong verb form
looked
show examples
over because
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
will get diverse benefits
such
as progressive education and tourism.
That is
what makes me strongly agree with reinstating historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
to where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
originated.
Submitted by vantueman496 on

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Introduction Improvement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and outlines the essay's direction. This helps in initially setting a strong foundation for your argument.
Conclusion Improvement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points made throughout your essay more effectively. Restate your position clearly to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Logical Structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence Improvement
Connect your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This enhances the flow of your essay and makes your argument more coherent.
Supporting Examples
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a better understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address the task more directly by explicitly stating the extent to which you agree or disagree in the introduction and conclusion. This makes your position clear and fulfills the task requirement more effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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