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Band 5

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch withother people and get news events. Do ou think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #withother #news #events #ou
Nowadays, mobile
phones
 are used by the public anywhere,
community
Correct article usage
The community
show examples
 uses cell
phones
 in their regular lives, mostly to interact with each other. Using mobile
phones
 helps individuals interact with each other more easily than in the past, and
also
 faster so it is very convenient.
In contrast
, using smartphones made social become less communicative face to face.
This
 essay will analyse both sides and give the writer's opinion that using mobile
phones
 will make human society better.
One
 factor can be that in the past, when 1 person was away from another, it seemed hard to chat with each other and had to use letter co-op with pigeons to ship to
one
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 wasted
time
 and led to difficulties in communication.
For example
, you live far away from your girlfriend and had an argument with her, you want to talk and explain to her what is going on, but when you send the messages, it takes 3-4 days to ship to her house and maybe in
this
 date, she may have new boyfriend, what a terrible situation despite the fact that you did not do anything.
Moreover
, chatting online helps
one
 can have many talks with many
people
 at the same
time
, so it will be more convenient
due to
 the pace when sending messages and gaining another are very fast. Another worthwhile point is that using
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phonephones
Correct your spelling
phone phones
 can give
people
 instant information, at a state-of-the-art
time
, when the world changing very fast, leading to information increase, interaction by using the phone will make it safe any
time
.
For example
, when having emergency notifications , mobile
phones
 can send them anywhere in the world in 1-2 seconds, working effectively to help
people
 too much. On the contrast side, using mobile
phones
 makes
people
 addicted to the virtual world and it may cause a lack of communication, at
Add an article
the
show examples
state of the art
time
, it is easy to see that many young can not talk with their partner fluently,
this
 status may worse if do not have the way to solve.
Therefore
, using mobile
phonesphones
Correct your spelling
phones
 too much can lead
people
 to a robot way. In conclusion, cell
phones
 help
people
 live easier
due to
 the pace and convenience they give to society.
Moreover
, human society may get advantages when it turns to the 4.0 era.
One
 thing noticeable that we must keep in mind and pay attention to is the age we use mobile
phones
, reduce the
time
 we use and control it.

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. Focus on discussing the advantages and disadvantages of social media, not just mobile phone use in general.
task achievement
Include both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your opinion on whether the advantages of using social media outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, starting with a topic sentence that introduces that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly and help your essay flow better from one point to the next.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, provide specific examples that illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of social media. These examples should be relevant and support the point you are making in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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