Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In
digital
era, social Add an article
the digital
media
is a place that
Correct word choice
where
people
can make friends with others or gain new information
. This
writer believes the benefits of the relationship and the convenience in
earning the knowledge outweigh the addiction.
The most advantageous factor of Change preposition
of
socail
Correct your spelling
social
media
is that individuals can make new friends. It is considered that they are chatting with others or calling video
with their families from a distance, and that can help them to connect withFix the agreement mistake
videos
.
Correct quantifier usage
others.
As a result
, citizens have new relationships which is
Change the verb form
are
sutable
for their characters. Correct your spelling
suitable
For instance
, Tinder is an app that can find a new person all over the world to make a friend by chatting. Thus
, social media
can help they
improve the relationships around themselves.
The other Correct pronoun usage
them
benefits
is that Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
people
can access information
briskly. They can easy for updating
new things on some pages Replace the word
easily update
in
the Internet or Change preposition
on
watching
videos Wrong verb form
watch
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
Consequently
, people
can save their time in finding information
by mobile phones or laptops. The true example is that people
use smartphone
for reading news or books when they go out. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Hence
, social media
is a fabulous invention for human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
in
saving time Change preposition
to
for
searching Change preposition
in for
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
.
On the other hand
, addicting
phone is a serious problem in the world nowadays. The mobile phone has a lot of social Correct article usage
an addicting
media
for entertaining
which can make teenagers spend Replace the word
entertainment
a
half of Correct article usage
apply
day
. Correct article usage
the day
As a result
, the
Correct article usage
apply
adolescent
cannot leave Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
the
Change the word
their
phone
and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
of
them is Change preposition
apply
decline
. Wrong verb form
declining
For instance
, almost students
in school use smartphones during their lessons for playing games.
In conclusion, The possible impact of teenagers being addicted is outweighed by the new relationships and the convenience of searching data. Correct determiner usage
all students
Hence
, people
should use social media
to gain a new knowledge
.Remove the article
new knowledge
a piece of new knowledge
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is logically structured, with clear and logical transitions between paragraphs. Consider creating an outline before you begin writing to help organize your thoughts.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, clearly state your viewpoint and summarize the main arguments. The conclusion should distinctly mirror the introduction, restating the thesis and main points.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your essay, develop your main points with more detailed explanations and a greater number of precise examples. This helps to build a more convincing argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should not only present a clear position throughout the response but also support this position with relevant, detailed examples.
task achievement
Avoid generic statements. Try to provide clear, comprehensive ideas and examples that specifically relate to the topic. Your arguments will be more compelling if they are well explained and specific.
task achievement
Improve your use of specific examples to support your arguments. Citing more specific and diverse examples can make your essay more interesting and persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?