Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with each other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #news #events

Every day, a large number of

people

utilize social

media

to stay in touch with one another and stay informed about news and events.

This

writer argues that the benefits of instant information about the world and connecting with other

people

easily overcome the cons of social platform

addiction

. It is vital to understand that social service is no doubt one of the most crucial parts of our lives.

In other words

, social

media

has made our lives increasingly convenient by providing us with the ability to connect everything on Earth.

For instance

, social websites allow us to update newspapers constantly, linking us with other

people

from a faraway distance. Another point worth considering is that using social

media

can help us contact other

people

easily. To elaborate,

instead

of sending letters and faxes, which consume lots of time and paper, using technological devices can immediately send

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

to other users.

However

, there are a few

people

who believe that using social platforms can lead to

addiction

. Many

people

nowadays are using social services for more than 15 hours a day, which is the most noticeable reason for smartphone

addiction

This

may be true, but limiting the amount of time spent on social networks and exercising could reduce

this

status significantly. In conclusion, the drawbacks of

addiction

are outweighed by the positives of connecting

people

with

people

from a distance and updating news instantly.

Hence

, social

media

can be a useful tool in the near future.

Tue Mar 19 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure you address both sides of the argument fully and provide a balanced view before concluding. While you have presented both advantages and disadvantages, a deeper exploration and comparison of each aspect could enhance your essay's persuasion and depth.

Task Achievement

Enhance your essay by incorporating more specific examples to support your points. While you have mentioned the general benefits of social media, adding real-life examples or statistics could make your arguments more compelling and grounded.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by using linking words and phrases effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay has a reasonable structure, more sophisticated transitions could improve the flow and coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific details or examples. Consider revising paragraphs to focus more tightly around a single theme or argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

247 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitate
geographically separated
fostering
connectivity
instant communication
real-time information
misinformation
rigorous checks and balances
fake news
addictive nature
detract
face-to-face interactions
mental health
awareness of limitations

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Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with each other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people believe that governments have the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have spare room in your flat and you want to rent it to a student. Write a letter to the accommodation office of the local college. In your letter Explain Where your flat is? Why you want to rent it? What sort of person would like to rent it?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interestedin finding out about the history of the house or the building they live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?