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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year
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The provided pie charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 the expenses of people in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in 2010. It shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how much they have spent on essentials
such
Linking Words
 as housing, transport, food, healthcare and other goods and services. To
embark on
Verb problem
conclude
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, it is apparent that the amount
expend
Verb problem
spent
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for
Change preposition
on
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 housing in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 which is 36% is higher than
Use synonyms
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is merely 21%.
However
Linking Words
, the cash paid for food is more or less the same in both nations
those
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 are 24% and 27%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
thecharge
Correct your spelling
the charge
 for other products and services
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 nearly similar in
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
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 29% and 26%
whereas
Linking Words
 the healthcare quantity in
Japan
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 is 6% which is
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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two times greater than
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in Malaysia
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Malaysia
Change preposition
in Malaysia
show examples
 which is 3%.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 charge spent on transport is 20% in
Japan
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 only 10% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thilagaraj7007 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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