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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #companies #job #applicants #age #development
The legality of rejecting
job
 applicants based on their
age
 varies from country to country. In some places, laws prohibit to make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
discrimination
 in
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 practices in order to make a fair and equal enough in the working
environemnet
Correct your spelling
environment
. The performance of
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in many cases cannot simply be quantified in terms of
age
. I argue that hiring people based solely on their
age
 is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of
discrimination
 against older individuals who have relevant skills and experience to actively contribute to the workforce. I strongly believe that
this
 phenomenon led to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adverse effects
such
 as the lack of advanced-skill
labors
Change the spelling
labours
show examples
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination
 of
age
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 lack of
job
 training
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worker’s skill advancement, even
this
 can get
worsen
Wrong verb form
worsened
show examples
 by the
rapidly
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rapid
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 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 joblessness which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
further
impacting
Change the verb form
impact
be impacting
show examples
 the balanced-life for every individual who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
strunggling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 with
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 the rise of the number of
underpriviledge
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
 in the country. Another than that, when companies hire
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
 applicants without
age
discrimination
 can help to prevent
age
 prejudice or
discrimination
 that being a major concern for social justice that
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 line with the value of
no-one
Correct your spelling
no one
show examples
 left behind of the Sustainable Development Goals.
This
 issue is a drawback for the rapidly developing country’s betterment.
Hence
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people should not face any rejection
due to
 their
age
 without considering many
apllicable
Correct your spelling
applicable
 skills that can highly contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the field they are capable of as a great demand of workplace success.
To sum up
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 stand firmly with the positive impact of recruiting people regardless of their
age
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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