Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.What are positive and negative sides of art at school?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.
In today's fast-paced world, individuals hold diverse opinions on
wide
range of topics. Add an article
a wide
The
issue of dancing as Change preposition
Regarding the
an
vital Change the article
a
subject
that should be included in school
curriculum, opinions are divided, with some supporting it and others Add an article
the school
oppose
it. The positive effects of including Wrong verb form
opposing
this
subject
at school
is that it act
as Change the verb form
acts
an
physical exercise for Change the article
a
students
and it also
help
certain scholars to have their career from Change the verb form
helps
this
subject
. On the other hand
, the negative effects are lack on
concentration on major Change preposition
of
subjects
, along with
this
learners can face more
stressful life.
Correct article usage
a more
To begin
with the pros of this
controversy, the most prominent one is that due to
high
level of study Correct article usage
the high
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
students
do not have enough time to focus on their physical body, thus
including dancing as an
Change the article
a
subject
could help them to provide physical excercise
to their body. Correct your spelling
exercise
Furthermore
, there are some peers which
are not Correct pronoun usage
who
brillient
in Correct your spelling
brilliant
studies
, but they have great dancing skills and they Correct pronoun usage
their studies
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
dream
of building their future career Change the verb form
dreamed
from
Change preposition
in
dance
, hence
school
can help them to sharpen their skills from early childhood days. For instance
, Nora Fataghi a famous bollywood
dancer was a Change the capitalization
Bollywood
week
student, but she had joined Correct your spelling
weak
dance
classes at school
since
childhood Change preposition
in
and
today she earns billions of dollars from her Correct word choice
apply
dance
in fims
and she has Correct your spelling
films
also
opened a dance
academy in Mumbai to earn more.
On the flip side, as soon as more subjects
such
as dance
, singing and art are added to curriculum
, the learners start neglecting their prior Add an article
the curriculum
subjects
such
as Science, English and Mathematics that are neccessary
for their future growth. Correct your spelling
necessary
Moreover
, adding another subject
to the school
schedule of student means adding another layer of stress in their life. Due to
hard competition in schools
Add a comma
schools,
students
are stresses
to score better from their friends, if one more Wrong verb form
stressed
subject
dance
is added it is a daunting task for certain
number Correct article usage
a certain
students
because some might not be interested in that. Change preposition
of students
For example
, as per a survay
report in 2022, in Cambridge Correct your spelling
survey
high
Correct your spelling
High School
school
, Dhuri, 3 juveniles commited
suicide Correct your spelling
committed
due to
high study pressure when they had dance
and learning french
as additional Capitalize word
French
subjects
in their schedule. Therefore
, this
subject
must not be a complusion
, Correct your spelling
compulsion
instead
it should be an option only.
In conclusion, the debate surrounding Add a comma
instead,
the
arts should be included or not is multifaceted, with vital extrapolates mentioned above. Correct word choice
whether the
This
contemporary epoch is beneficial for some, whereas
Correct word choice
but
have
poor effects on certain Correct subject-verb agreement
has
students
. Therefore
, it should be optional to include these
Correct determiner usage
apply
subjects
such
as dance
, craft etc.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on the structural presentation of the essay to ensure a more logical flow. Aim for a clear introduction, body paragraphs focused on singular points, and a concise conclusion to improve your score in logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to include an explicit introduction and conclusion that directly address the prompt. Start with a thesis statement and end with a summary of your main points to strengthen your score in introduction and conclusion presentation.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should center around one main idea. Use examples and explanations to fully support these points, but ensure they are directly linked to the topic for a higher score in supported main points.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your essay provides a balanced view and a clear opinion on the topic for a higher score in complete response.
task achievement
Improve clarity by focusing on one idea per paragraph and being explicit in how each supports your argument. Use clear topic sentences and follow through with detailed explanations and examples for a higher score in clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
To improve in providing relevant and specific examples, ensure that your examples are directly related to the points being made and clearly illustrate the argument or viewpoint for a richer essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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