Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whilst , childhood is considered the best stage of their
life
by certain
individuals
when they can overindulge in different
life
activities, others contend that being happy in
life
is not defined by a certain period but rather different experiences in different periods. It is my contention that enjoying the
life
we live is not regulated by our childhood since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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everyone can still have joyful
life
experiences at distinctive
life
periods. First and foremost, the preliminary reason why certain
individuals
have an erroneous conception implying that
people
can merely be happy during
Add an article
the pre-adolescene
a pre-adolescene
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pre-adolescene
Correct your spelling
pre-adolescence
pre-adolescent
period is because of the traumatic
life
experiences that they have
underwent
Change the verb form
undergone
show examples
at forward stages of their lives. To cite an example, juveniles are not
anticipated
Verb problem
expected
show examples
to settle with serious responsibilities at
such
young ages, but these responsibilities
are piling
Wrong verb form
pile
show examples
up on their shoulders as they mature,
therefore
, compelling them to
overwhelm
Wrong verb form
be overwhelmed
show examples
by
life
activities completely disregarding personal enjoyment. From my perspective, happiness is bail down to individual preferences because
people
can still find a justification to be happy during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
times of hardship.
On the contrary
side, being happy in
life
is a personal choice and everyone can find gratification in different
life
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
regardless of their age. It goes without saying that
people
with healthy
mindset
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mindsets
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mastered the art of enjoying
life
even during the hardest challenges they encounter
on
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in
show examples
their daily lives. Undoubtedly,
this
gives them the ability to deduce a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
takeaway in negative
life
occasions, alleviating the
critircality
Correct your spelling
criticality
of conditions by optimistically evaluating these conditions. It is worthwhile noting that anxiety is one of the most notorious stressors that can derail
people
's
live
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lives
show examples
.
Consequently
, being able to have a positive outlook will always help
individuals
to pursue a
peacifull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
and healthier
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
a handful of
individuals
claim that
people
can solely be happy when they are under
eighteen
Correct article usage
the eighteen
show examples
age mark, I think there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
age
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an age
show examples
limit for a human to enjoy his/her
life
and everyone should be able to see things positively even the
adds
Correct your spelling
odds
show examples
are stacked against us.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Be cautious with word choices and spelling to enhance readability. Words like 'bail down' may be intended as 'boil down', and 'critircality' seems to be a typo for 'criticality'. Correct usage is crucial for clear communication.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Strengthen your essay by enriching it with more specific examples to support your arguments. General statements can be impactful if grounded in concrete, relatable examples.
task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing both views clearly before presenting your own opinion. Each viewpoint should be explored with equal depth and balance.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, carefully review the prompt requirements and ensure your essay thoroughly covers all aspects. Integrating a balanced discussion with a clear personal stance enhances your response.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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