Some peole believe that tecnology has led to many positive development in their lives other think tecnology is gradually take over controlof the way people live.
Technology
is part of our lives. While
some people
see this
situation has brought many improvements, others feel that technology
is too controlling. Personally, I think that technology
is largely beneficial.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why technology
brings many benefits to our lives. Firstly
, technology
can make people
more time efficient
in their studies. Add a hyphen
time-efficient
For example
, students can easily use the internet to access information while
in the past they needed to go to the library and borrow books. Secondly
, technology
can connect individuals worldwide. For instance
, people
can interact without limitations of time and space using their own device and an application such
as Facetime. As a result
, society is more connected.
However
, many people
are losing control of their lives due to
technology
. For example
, if a hacker has access to someone’s user account, they can steal and share their private information. Furthermore
, over reliance
on the internet has made Correct your spelling
overreliance
people
too lazy to think for themselves. Instead
, they rely too much on developments such
as AI. Lastly
, teenagers can possibly become addicted to video games and social media. This
excessive screen time and compulsive use of the internet can lead to a decrease in study efficiency and damage their social skills.
In conclusion, despite the negative points mentioned above, I believe that the positive developments outweigh the harm that technology
can do. However
, society needs to be cautious how
Change preposition
about how
technology
is used so that we can continue to enjoy the benefits.Submitted by hsmkashi on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to improve the readability of your essay. For example, 'tecnology' should be 'technology', 'has' should be 'have', and 'controlof' should be 'control of'. Frequent errors can distract the reader and impact the overall coherence of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points effectively. Your introduction is concise, but could more explicitly outline the points you plan to discuss. Similarly, your conclusion might benefit from a stronger restatement of your position and a succinct summary of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Provide more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance logical flow. Utilize conjunctions, transition words, and varying sentence lengths to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next, making your essay more coherent.
Task Achievement
While you presented arguments for both sides, ensure you respond completely to all parts of the task by offering a balanced discussion before stating your opinion. Incorporate a wider range of ideas and explore them more deeply to fully satisfy the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Use more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your arguments, making them more persuasive and engaging. Instead of general statements, include concrete examples or personal experiences to illustrate your points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.