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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#thousands #dollars #doctors #workers #seven #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart reveals information about
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
payment
 comparison between
doctors
 and other
workers
 in seven nations in 2004.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the US was the
Also
, it is notable that France and
Switzerland
 had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level of
payment
 for
doctors
,
however
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Switzerland
's
payment
 for other
workers
 was
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greater.
In
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 came four developed countries except Finland others had
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 for
doctors
 and other
workers
. Starting with the US
doctors
'
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 consisted sharply
120
Change preposition
of 120
show examples
 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
US dollars,
while
 other
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
 was three times less than
doctors
 about 40 thousand dollars.
Although
workers
Change noun form
worker's
workers'
show examples
 gain was less come zero, was the greatest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 countries in 2004. As for
Switzerland
 and France
doctors
' and will
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 amounted
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 70,000 dollars, and annual pay for other
workers
 in
Switzerland
 illustrated $10,000 more than in France. As regards, Italy,
Czech
Correct article usage
the Czech
show examples
 Republic and Germany annual pay for other
workers
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 at the same level and the
doctors
Change to a genitive case
doctor's
doctors'
show examples
payment
 had little difference. The Czech Republic and Germany accounted
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 above $60,000,
while
 Italy had a sharp one.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Finland's annual pay was the lowest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 $50,000,
however
, the other
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 gain was the highest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
abovemention
Correct your spelling
abovementioned
above mention
 countries.
Submitted by kamroncpb on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words payment, doctors, workers, switzerland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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