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Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern lifestyle. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #convenience #food #people #lifestyle
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In the contemporary world, with a fast-paced life, microwave
food
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 tends to become more popular, even though it has other disadvantages. I think, in most cases, prepared
food
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 has multiple benefits for
people
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 and, in
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and offer my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs. There are two crucial merits of ready-made meals, not only time-saving but
also
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 have various options.
That is
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 to say, for those who are so hectic that they do not have sufficient time for rest, let alone prepare meals, it is a major benefit,
such
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 as working parents or students.
Additionally
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,
convenience
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food
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 is available in diverse flavours and alternatives, so
people
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 can easily choose what they want rather than struggle to find restaurants. Take
convenience
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 stores as an example, there are different kinds of
convenience
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food
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 from Western to Eastern styles,
people
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 can enjoy the whole world's
food
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 in a store without going abroad.
However
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, it
also
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 has two major disadvantages lack of nutrients and higher prices than fresh
food
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. In general,
this
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 kind of
food
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 consists of high salt and sugar but low fibre and vitamins, leading to obesity problems and
further
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 affecting
overall
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 wellness.
Additionally
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, frozen
food
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 is often associated with more processing and manufacturing, which can result in higher prices.
As a result
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,
people
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 with lower incomes may choose to consume it less frequently.
Although
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 it has some drawbacks, it is still an appealing choice for most
people
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 in modern lifestyles. In conclusion, just as a life-saving medicine may be another life-threatening poison, there is no possibility that
convenience
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 foods will suit everyone. Considering everything, I still think it can be a way to save individuals' busy and tired lives not only is it a time-saver, but it is
also
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 easy to purchase. The
overall
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 pros outweigh the cons.
Submitted by Chloe on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that outlines the structure of your essay. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the flow of your essay. This enhances the overall readability.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, real-world examples. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary to make your arguments more convincing and to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Avoid general statements without support. Each time you mention an advantage or disadvantage, back it up with evidence or a detailed example.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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