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Band 3

Write a story beginning with the :The days were beginning to be chilly, too chilly to be without fire.

#story #fire
Countries have different
kind
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kinds
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 of weather. In some countries, we can experience severe call
while
 in others it can be too hot. In some countries like Canada, there is extreme cold and it is absolutely necessary to light a fire in order to feel hot and avoid our body trembling
due to
 the severe cold.
However
, in
Mauritius
Add a comma
Mauritius,
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this
 is not the case as we do not have severe winter. We can struggle with the winter simply using warm clothes, jackets and mat covers. Usually, when people go
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apply
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to
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apply
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camping outdoors, they will light a fire to protect
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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them
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themselves
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 from cold and
also
 from insects. Many insects and animals like rats and snakes will not approach a place where a fire has been
lighted
Wrong verb form
lit
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.
This
 will ensure we are protected from these animals. Unlike in ancient times, Mauritius used to have quite cold weather but during the
last
 few years, we
notice
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have noticed
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 that it is not that cold during
winter
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the winter
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 season and I believe
this
 is
due to
the
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apply
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climate change which is having an impact on our weather.
Hence
, it is not required to be fully equipped against the mild cold season in Mauritius.
However
, there are
circumstance
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circumstances
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 when it is required to take
precaution
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precautions
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 against
cold
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colds
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 because it can cause severe
illness
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illnesses
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 like bronchitis, respiratory problems and others.
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, attempt to develop a more detailed narrative or argument that closely aligns with the given topic, ensuring that all parts of your response directly address the topic's key aspects.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more effectively by having a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly and ensure each paragraph discusses a single main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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