some people say that computer game are bad for children by all means; others believe that these games are contributing to children's development discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is a common thought that
computer
game
are not good for Fix the agreement mistake
games
children
in every situation, but others belief
that Replace the word
believe
games
can contribute to children
's development. While
accepting the fist
viewpoint is somewhat reasonable, I would contend that there are some Correct your spelling
first
computer
games
can
help Correct pronoun usage
that can
children
facilitate.
There are several reason
why some people propose that Change to a plural noun
reasons
computer
game
affect Fix the agreement mistake
games
children
. Firstly
, the key rationable
behind Correct your spelling
rationale
this
thought is that play
Replace the word
playing
computer
game
can make Fix the agreement mistake
games
children
addicted with
Change preposition
to
Add an article
the game
game
. Fix the agreement mistake
games
This
is because play
Replace the word
playing
game
too much make children
immerse
in Wrong verb form
immersed
computer
game
and can not stay calm when Fix the agreement mistake
games
don
not have something to play. Verb problem
they do
In addition
to this
, there are many type
of Change to a plural noun
types
games
are
unhealthy with Correct pronoun usage
that are
children
and their parent
can not always look out Fix the agreement mistake
parents
children
when they play. Change preposition
for children
As a result
, children
can play unhealthy game
and can be addicted to Fix the agreement mistake
games
game
.
Despite the above argument, Fix the agreement mistake
games
i
firmly believe that Change the capitalization
I
play
Replace the word
playing
computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
sometime
are good for Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
children
. It must first be recognized that there are
some Change the verb form
is
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
help
Correct pronoun usage
that help
children's
nurture Change noun form
children
intelligent
. Replace the word
intelligence
This
is because that
some Correct determiner usage
apply
game
support Fix the agreement mistake
games
children
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
language
by Add an article
the language
game
or there are some game
support Fix the agreement mistake
games
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
intelligent
. Replace the word
intelligence
This
argument is further
strengthened by the fact that play
Replace the word
playing
computer
game
like multiplayer Fix the agreement mistake
games
games
also
can help childrent
learn about teamwork and communication skills as players collaborate to achieve Correct your spelling
children
common
goal.
In conclusion, when it is true to some extent that Add an article
a common
play
Replace the word
playing
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
are have
some Change the verb form
has
affect
Replace the word
effect
to
Change preposition
on
children
, I would maintain that there are several positive
Fix the agreement mistake
positives
in play
Change preposition
to playing
computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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task achievement
Introduce both sides of the argument more clearly in the introduction. This sets a solid foundation for your essay.
coherence & cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support the main idea.
task achievement
To make your argument stronger, include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Real-world examples or research findings would add depth to your essay.
coherence & cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, use transitional phrases more effectively to link your ideas and paragraphs together, guiding your reader through your argument.
task achievement
Address the counterargument more thoroughly. While you briefly mention the opposing view, expanding on this with more detail would strengthen your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example