Science tells us that some activities are good for our health, while some others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change this?

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Nowadays, an unhealthy lifestyle has aroused
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's discussion.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue is triggered by a whole host of reasons.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some feasible solutions should be implemented to tackle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

matter. There are several key reasons why humans are reluctant to change unsound lifestyles and habits. At
first,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in the hectic world, adults are always busy working day and night because of the fierce competition in work, which could lead to a fast-paced lifestyle.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have a tendency to consume a great deal of fast food despite perceiving the negative impacts of those convenient dishes. In fact, as can be seen clearly, there is an upward trend in the proportion of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are prone to obesity or diabetes than in earlier times.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as material life is prosperous increasingly,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
are more likely addicted to sedentary lifestyles or
had
Wrong verb form
have

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb had. Consider changing it.

show examples
no time for outdoor activities regularly.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with smoking habits cannot reduce their dependency on cigarettes despite their health deterioration.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the problem above can be remedied, provided that some of the following preparatory steps are taken. One of which is moderating the number of unhealthy products
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as food with a high concentration of fat, alcohol or cigarettes. To tackle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, authorities could impose higher taxes on those detrimental commodities.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the quantity of merchandise purchased and sold will tend to drop.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, each person should break the old self-destructive lifestyles and set up a healthy body.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, rather than befriending ill-willed buddies, they can usually take part in outdoor activities or register
sports
Change preposition
for sports

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
competitions in faraway places. It is beneficial for all members of society to alter harmful habits in earlier times. In conclusion, detrimental activities have become a dilemma and some holistic approaches should be adopted. Only when concerted efforts are made by governments and individuals, can
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thorny issue be solved perfectly

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Task Achievement
Your essay introduces the topic well but lacks specific examples and details to support your main points. Include more real-world examples or specific data to make your arguments more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer organizational structure. Consider using paragraphs to clearly separate your introduction, each of your main points, and your conclusion. This will enhance readability and logic flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve cohesion, use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This can help guide the reader through your essay with a clearer understanding of how your points relate to each other.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • dependency
  • peer pressure
  • social norms
  • mental health issues
  • binge eating
  • lack of access
  • long-term consequences
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • public health campaigns
  • government regulations
  • taxes
  • dissuade
  • mental health care
  • supportive environment
  • community programs
  • wellness workshops
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