Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their work place (e.g.: at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the
modren
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modern
era, many people believe that
technology
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technological
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development
have
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has
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many benefits
beacuse
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because
it makes us
working at
Wrong verb form
work
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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outside the office.
However
Linking Words
, opinions are divided over whether the merits of information technology
supersedethe
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supersede the
supersedes
demerits. Personally, I believe that working outside their workplace
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
work efficiency. There are clearly a few demerits of working anywhere they want. For business
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purposes
show examples
purpose
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purpose,
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the most notable one is that they can not make a close rapport with their co-workers. Because
,
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apply
show examples
they do not communicate frequently about their daily lives and they can not spend time often after
leave
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leaving
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the office.
Due to
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this
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reason, some people feel disconnected
with
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from
show examples
them.
Moreover
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, sometimes can happen glitch
such
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as
unstalbe
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unstable
In spite of the above-mentioned views, some people assert that business efficiency
is improve
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is improved
show examples
. Because
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task response
Your essay is incomplete, and it seems that your ideas were not fully developed. Make sure to complete your essay and fully articulate your arguments.
task response
Provide clear examples from your knowledge or experience to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic to provide a roadmap for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay. One paragraph should represent one main idea, and this should be supported by following sentences within the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have several spelling and grammar mistakes that could confuse the reader. Proofread your essay carefully to correct these errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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