Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their work place (e.g.: at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relative examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the
modren
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modern
era, many people believe that
technology
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technological
show examples
development
have
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has
show examples
many benefits
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
it makes us
working at
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside the office.
However
, opinions are divided over whether the merits of information technology
supersedethe
Correct your spelling
supersede the
supersedes
demerits. Personally, I believe that working outside their workplace
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
work efficiency. There are clearly a few demerits of working anywhere they want. For business
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
purpose
Add a comma
purpose,
show examples
the most notable one is that they can not make a close rapport with their co-workers. Because
,
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apply
show examples
they do not communicate frequently about their daily lives and they can not spend time often after
leave
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leaving
show examples
the office.
Due to
this
reason, some people feel disconnected
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
them.
Moreover
, sometimes can happen glitch
such
as
unstalbe
Correct your spelling
unstable
In spite of the above-mentioned views, some people assert that business efficiency
is improve
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is improved
show examples
. Because
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

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task response
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task response
Provide clear examples from your knowledge or experience to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic to provide a roadmap for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay. One paragraph should represent one main idea, and this should be supported by following sentences within the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have several spelling and grammar mistakes that could confuse the reader. Proofread your essay carefully to correct these errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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