Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #home #work #school #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Over the recent decades, there has been a debate from some

peoople

Correct your spelling

people

that all aged

chileren

Correct your spelling

children

should have more

responsibiltieis

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

at home or other places as members of their group to learn about social skills

such

as cooperation with other peers and values

such

as consideration, being honest, and sharing each other.

However

, others argue that

children

should not be

on pressure

Change preposition

pressured

show examples

from out of

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

to enjoy their

lives

with happiness and fun time with their families. I would like to put emphasis on the latter

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

as it seems more reasonable to me. It cannot be deniable that young

children

should learn and carry

resposibilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

in their

lives

to be an appropriate member of their society and groups by helping their family at home or their friends at

school

. Since

children

should

also

caltivate

Correct your spelling

cultivate

captivate

their

capabilties

Correct your spelling

capabilities

to contain the values that society

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

have

such

as consideration, cooperation, loving, or sharing, it would be great opportunities for young pupils to learn about these by taking part

Change preposition

show examples

their

familes

Correct your spelling

families

or groups. To support

this

point of view, there have been prevalent researches that

children

who have

this abilities

Change the determiner

this ability

these abilities

show examples

even though they are young can have positive relationships with other people including classmates and teachers.

This

results in that it would be beneficial for

children

to participate in family or class work with their own responsibilities.

However

, the aforementioned perspective can be considered

pluasible

Correct your spelling

plausible

, I largely agree with the other viewpoint standing against their view. The other people support that

children

should have more fun time with their friends and families and practical moments to reflect what they learnt from

school

into daily

lives

. To be more specific,

children

would be able to learn and develop their senses and capabilities from

school

within the accredited education curriculum from governments.

As a

Change preposition

show examples

compelling example would be that students will develop not only their academic abilities but

also

social skills

such

as following

school

rules, and being punctual at

school

On the other hand

, taking

thire

Correct your spelling

their

own responsibilities can bring excessive stress on

chileren

Correct your spelling

children

as they do not know how to cope

with

Correct pronoun usage

with it

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

some individuals insist that

children

should take

responsibiltieis

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

even at home to develop social capabilities, others assert that

children

should have more practical time with their families after

school

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

naturally

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

the skills they

aquired

Correct your spelling

acquired

from

school

into their

lives

without extra stress.

Submitted by yeseulyou92 on Wed Mar 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear structure. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be distinct and logically flow from one to the next. Considering using linking words to improve flow.

coherence cohesion

Check for spelling and grammar mistakes. This will help improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Specifically, watch out for typos and try to use a broader range of vocabulary to express your ideas.

task achievement

Develop your arguments with specific examples. While your essay provides general arguments, using concrete examples can make your points more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Strive to clearly address the task prompt. Ensure that your essay thoroughly discusses both viewpoints and provides a clear, well-supported opinion. This will help improve task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

401 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

extra responsibilities
develop skills
life lessons
work ethic
sense of responsibility
contribute to
family
community
playtime
physical development
mental development
balance
enjoyment
guide
childhood

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary Public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is well known that people pay taxes for the country necessities. Some individuals belive that authorities should receive much higher fees from citizen's pockets for better public services such as transportation and education. However, the remaining are convinced that heavy taxes are a misery . Moreover, it is important to have a balance between high fees and the population needs.
5
band
Some people today struggle to use modern electronic technology such as smart phones and computers. Why do you think this is ? What can be done to solve this problem ?
The advancement of technological has increased significantly and it has contributed to almost parts in our daily lives, however some people faced an obstacle to use it like smart phones and computers. This essay will examine some causes of it and how to adress this problem.
8
band
in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
Life expectancy in some countries has been raised throughout this century. Although the increase in senior citizens has its own benefits, a number of individuals contend that this phenomenon brings about some detrimental complications. I think both pros and cons should be discussed.
6
band
In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?
Over the past few decades, whether we like it or not, a remarkable growth in individualism can be seen through numerous amounts of nations, where communities are prioritizing personal intentions above other assertions, this undoubtedly has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks, which I consider it as an advantageous trend.
7
band
Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
From the past to present, musical instruments always play an important role in our life, recently there have been some researchers proving that learning a musical instrument may bring a lot of advantages, so some suggest that a musical instrument course should be added to education. From my perspective, I agree with this statement to some extent. In this essay, I will discuss it.

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary Public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people today struggle to use modern electronic technology such as smart phones and computers. Why do you think this is ? What can be done to solve this problem ?

in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?