Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
Nowadays, many
people
in over the world
spend a lot
of time using social media
to keep in touch with other people
and got
news events. In Wrong verb form
get
this
writer will talk about advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
outweigh
the disadvantages.
Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
Firstly
, using social media
will have many benefit
like Change to a plural noun
benefits
make
a Verb problem
gaining
lot
of knowledge of information
in over the Add an article
the information
world
can understand
and Replace the word
understanding
catch
upWrong verb form
catching
a
Change preposition
on a
lot
of trends or events in the world
. For example
, chairman
can persuade all staff and control Add an article
the chairman
by
social Change preposition
apply
media
or he can talk to them some
of Change preposition
about some
news
events of his company. Add an article
the news
Furthermore
, now have a lot
of financial benefit
so most Change to a plural noun
benefits
of
Change preposition
apply
people
use it for shopping online or find
some Fix the infinitive
to find
of
work with Change preposition
apply
high
salary Correct article usage
a high
in
other websites.
Change preposition
on
Secondly
, for education
students can use social Add a comma
education,
media
for
study online at home, do not go out if they can not or they must at home. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, some of
Change preposition
apply
student
can use that for chatting with Fix the agreement mistake
students
friend
or Fix the agreement mistake
friends
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
by
some Change preposition
with
of
games Change preposition
apply
in
the internet. Change preposition
on
For example
, Add an article
the student
a student
student
must study online when Fix the agreement mistake
students
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
appear
in over the Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
world
or for
relax, after 1 week to study hard, Change preposition
to
at
Correct word choice
and at
weekend
students can play more games.
With a Correct article usage
the weekend
lot
of advantages will appear disadvantages like in
some of Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the website
website
can have false Fix the agreement mistake
websites
information
which are
effected for children and will Change the verb form
is
be make
them Change the verb form
make
to
Correct your spelling
do
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
action
but will have different solutions Fix the agreement mistake
actions
can
help them like Correct pronoun usage
that can
choose
true Wrong verb form
choosing
information
with resort like
Add a hyphen
resort-like
famous
Add an article
a famous
scientist
to read.
In conclusion, using social Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
media
will have more advantages for financial
or education but will appear disadvantages which Replace the word
finances
people
do not want so must choose true information
before read
in website.Replace the word
reading
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea followed by supporting details or examples.
development
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly. While you provided examples, expanding on how these examples support your main points would strengthen your essay.
grammar
Check your essay for grammatical errors and work on using a range of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
vocabulary
Be mindful of repetition. Try to vary your vocabulary to avoid using the same words or phrases multiple times.
task response
Ensure you fully address the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media evenly before stating if one outweighs the other.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.