Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?

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Nowadays, more individuals appreciate famous actors and successful athletes, considering them exemplary figures. In my opinion, an ideal role model should be someone who contributes positively to their community and nation.

Therefore

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, it's unjustifiable to elevate any specific occupation as supreme. It's acknowledged that

teachers

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bring positive outcomes to the future generation and deserve recognition as ideal figures. To start, it's illogical to assess an individual, including

celebrities

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, as a role model solely based on celebrity status.

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, an ideal model's contributions to their community should be evaluated.

Celebrities

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often participate in environmental volunteer campaigns,

such

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as blood donation events, enhancing their public image.

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, several famous singers have founded anthropological organizations, primarily funded by their global music concerts, covering educational fees for African students.

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, the general public, previously unfamiliar with these singers' music, began to respect and feel enthusiastic about their charitable contributions.

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, an ideal figure achieves rewards through their career path and holds considerable influence on multimedia platforms.

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, it's true that successful

celebrities

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who contribute positively have become role models for youngsters, valued for their integrity and compassion. Indeed, there are numerous individuals deserving recognition beyond

celebrities

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such

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teachers

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, who shape the world's education.

Teachers

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are vital in nurturing an educated workforce, and a world without their existence would regress. Despite their substantial dedication,

teachers

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are often underappreciated.

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, they should be held in high regard and treated equally to other professions. In conclusion, admiration for idols should not lead to blind imitation.

Teachers

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exemplify great models and deserve equal, if not more, recognition than

celebrities

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lenam2k1Sat Jun 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that this point is supported with detailed evidence and examples. This can help to better structure your argument and make it more convincing.

task achievement

Consider including a broader variety of examples to support your points, from different areas and perspectives, to demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The main points are relevant and well-connected to the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

task achievement

The essay includes specific examples, such as celebrities' charitable activities and the significant role of teachers, to support the points discussed.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influential
humanitarian
advocacy
platform
social change
distorted perception
unrealistic expectations
idealized
superficial
everyday heroes
tangible
intellectuals
innovators
ethical achievements
mentors
personal growth

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Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?

In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children's life. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advatages outweigh the disadvantages