IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The picture illustrates the cycling process of a consumer product called glass bottles.

#picture #process #consumer #product #glass #bottles
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Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 picture illustrates the process of recycling
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 consists of 3 key steps, starting with collecting and transporting
bottles
Use synonyms
, followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cleaning and recycling them, and concluding with products being consumed.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people carry
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
collecting
glass
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 and bring them to collection points before delivering them by trucks to the next stage. In the second step, the
bottles
Use synonyms
 experience a cleaning plant. Here, workers will wash them with water and classify them into 3 main colour groups
such
Linking Words
 as clear, green and brown. After that, all of them are moved to recycling plants and are burned in a furnace. Next people mix products - recycled liquid
glass
Use synonyms
 and new liquid
glass
Use synonyms
 before pouring them into moulds to shape. The final stage is that items will be transported to the supermarkets and consumed.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sections and within paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'Following this,' or 'Subsequently,' can guide the reader more smoothly from one step to the next.
task achievement
In your introduction, provide a brief overview of all the stages involved in the process rather than just mentioning the number of steps. This gives the reader a clearer preview of what to expect in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay more explicitly. For example, start with 'This essay will describe the process...' and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the entire process or reflects on its importance.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or details to enrich your description of each stage. Describing specific machinery, techniques, or even the workers' roles in more detail can make your essay more informative and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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