Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems?

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Currently, there is a rise in the distance between the wealthy and needy
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The root causes of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject causes. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the differences
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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not only opportunities but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lifestyles
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, yet it can be tackled by
government
Add an article
the government
a government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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who provide social welfare for the poor. To commence with, one of the reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the diversity of chances in career.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the rich
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have their available social relationships, property and knowledge which promote them to higher positions in their occupations. Meanwhile, disadvantaged individuals do not have any chance to overcome their
porverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
property

If you don’t want porverty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or become
the
Change the article
apply

It appears that the article the is unnecessary before the adjective affluent. Consider making a change.

show examples
affluent.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, 95% of
imporved
Correct your spelling
improved
imported

If you don’t want imporved to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

white-collar workers in the UK could not move to the positions of managers because they did not have enough relationships in the firms.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, another principal cause is the distinction in
lifestyles
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

between the rich and the poor. To be more specific, poor
peopple
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want peopple to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

tend to pursue extravagant
lifestyles
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and waste their money on negative purposes
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as using drugs and gambling or betting.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
properous
Correct your spelling
prosperous

If you don’t want properous to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

just follow frugal lives
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

invest their money
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
several projects or ventures that can make a profit for them.
As a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the poor easily go bankrupt ,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the rich
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

become wealthier.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 2021, The New York Times showed that the top 10
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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billionaires in the USA just paid 2$ for each breakfast,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

5
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

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citizens who lived in slums always spent 50$. A solution,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, can be found in
government's
Correct article usage
the government's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
actions towards the poor. The most effective approach is for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are deprived can receive social amenities like accommodations, food and drinks from local authorities.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these things will enhance the quality of their lives, leading to
bridge
Change the verb form
bridging

The verb bridge may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
the gap between the rich and the poor. Take Vietnam as an example here where 50 charity events
happening
Wrong verb form
happen

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb happening. Consider changing it.

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every
years
Change to a singular noun
year

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun years. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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to supply necessary facilities for deprived
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

assisted more than 20000 citizens
relocate
Add the particle
to relocate

It appears that the verb relocate should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
adequate houses.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the increase
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the gap between affluent and poor individuals stems from inequality of
work's
Change noun form
work

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
opportunities
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

diverse
lifestyles
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, supplying vital things for the needy will improve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem.

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grammar
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, 'due to the differences of not only opportunities but also lifestyles' could be rephrased for clarity. Also, phrases like 'promote them to higher positions' could be clearer.
writing style
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability. Many sentences start with similar phrases; incorporating different sentence types can make your essay more engaging.
development
Ensure that all points are fully developed. For example, the point about lifestyles leading to poverty could use more explanation about why these behaviors are more prevalent among poorer individuals.
task response
You have successfully identified and explained two major causes of the widening gap between the rich and the poor.
relevant examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the statistics from the UK and the USA, which help to illustrate your arguments effectively.
structure
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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