Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #advertisements #children

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It is sometimes believed that

advertisements

Use synonyms

' main aim

were

Wrong verb form

is that

show examples

children

Use synonyms

ought to be banned.

This

Linking Words

essay strongly agrees with

this

Linking Words

suggestion for several reasons. The first reason behind my belief is that advertising

has an aim

Wrong verb form

aimed

show examples

children

Use synonyms

can have some negative effects on

the

Change the word

their

show examples

mental health

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

This

Linking Words

is true because some

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

tend to post toy

advertisements

Use synonyms

on websites or TV programmes and

thus

Linking Words

can attract attention to it.

As a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

will require adults

buy

Fix the infinitive

to buy

show examples

for them and become irritable if they do not get what they

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

, thereby forming a bad virtue.

This

Linking Words

can be seen in Vietnam many marketing campaigns

Change preposition

for

show examples

toys are inserted into

children

Use synonyms

's programs.

This

Linking Words

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

many parents have a headache because they must meet their child's needs. Another point worth mentioning is that

Use synonyms

games

Change the noun form

game

show examples

promotion

campaign

Fix the agreement mistake

campaigns

show examples

can lead to learning problems. The reason for

this

Linking Words

is that advertising is a way to entice customers and

games

Use synonyms

advertisements

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can attract

children

Use synonyms

to buy them and large number of students are not keen on studying,

instead

Linking Words

, they play

games

Use synonyms

all day.

This

Linking Words

can result in the fact that spending

much

Rephrase

too much

show examples

time playing

games

Use synonyms

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

children

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not have enough time to study, thereby getting bad grades obviously. Countless

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

examples have shown that young people, especially teenagers, because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad

advertisements

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, they play

games

Use synonyms

tend to be violent leading to inappropriate

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In conclusion, I totally agree with the idea of a ban being imposed on

advertisements

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, which have an aim

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

given the aforementioned arguments.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Mar 20 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint on the topic, setting a concise tone for what follows. Your initial statement slightly lacks clarity. Consider restructuring for a stronger opening.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance coherence by better organizing your paragraphs. Begin each with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details, and a summarizing or concluding sentence. This structure facilitates the reader's understanding.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, deepen the analysis of your examples. Rather than merely stating outcomes, explore the implications and reasons behind these outcomes. This approach demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and precision. This is especially valuable in your introduction and conclusion for creating a compelling argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This helps maintain logical progression throughout your essay. When introducing new ideas, make certain they clearly support your overall argument to improve cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pester power
Impressionable
Materialism
Consumerism
Exploitative
Obesity
Censorship
Regulation
Junk food
Economic implications
Parental responsibility
Critical thinking
Freedom of expression
Ethical advertising
Social messages

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Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries to what extent do you agree or disagree

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?