Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
In
this
modern society, social networking sites have become widely used for connecting community
and accessing current affairs. Correct article usage
the community
This
writer believes that the benefits of getting various news
and facilitate
global interactions outweigh the Wrong verb form
facilitating
drawbavks
of potential social isolation.
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
To begin
with, people
now can communicate with others far easier
thanks to social Rephrase
more easily
media
which is an up to date
tool Add a hyphen
up-to-date
can
change the world. Correct pronoun usage
that can
For instance
, there are many apps that were invented to allow people
to keep in touch and share their lives regarless
Correct your spelling
regardless
distance
Change preposition
of distance
such
as Facebook, Instagram
. Correct word choice
and Instagram
Consequently
, those who lives
far away from home can now connect with their families, Change the verb form
live
friends
on a daily basis without any fees.
In a similar way, accessing various Correct word choice
and friends
news
is becoming faster. This
is because social networking sites is
a Change the verb form
are
broaden
system that Replace the word
broad
consist
of small pieces Change the verb form
consists
information
Change preposition
of information
collecting
from each reporter or journalist Wrong verb form
collected
aoround
the world. Correct your spelling
around
For example
, there will be variety
of Add an article
a variety
news
events about different changes in many places that will be uploaded on the Internet everyday
. Correct your spelling
every day
As a result
, residents can get to know their country's situation and also
global problems.
However
, several media
's development
can lead to social isolation because Fix the agreement mistake
developments
people
immerse
in their virtual world Wrong verb form
are immersed
that
they cannot Correct word choice
so that
unteract
with others in reality. Correct your spelling
interact
For instance
, the average time of using social media
among the young is over 7 hours per day which mean
they spend most of their time on the Internet Correct subject-verb agreement
means
instead
of communicating with friends or families but parents can limit their children's time of abusing social media
.
In conclusion, the disadvantages of social isolation is
Change the verb form
are
outwiehed
by the increased of accessing various Correct your spelling
outweighed
news
and global interactions. Hence
, using social media
widely is a better way for people
to keep track of this
modern era.Submitted by [email protected] on
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language accuracy
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors. Though your ideas are clear, minor mistakes can distract from the overall effectiveness of your argument.
sentence variety
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency. While the essay is well-written, more complex sentences could enhance its overall quality.
argument balance
Ensure that the advantages and disadvantages are clearly balanced in the discussion. Providing clear, direct comparisons can strengthen your argument.
use of examples
Effective use of examples to support points, such as mentioning Facebook and Instagram for social connection.
introduction/conclusion
Good introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the essay's argument and restating it at the end.
paragraph organization
Well-organized paragraphs, each beginning with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph's main idea.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?