Many people around the world use social mdeia every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events . Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Social
media
have been used to keep in touch with other
people
around the
world
by many individuals. In my personal view, the positive aspects that using social
media
provides for
humans
is more outweigh the pessimistic aspects . In the modern
day
, technology develops fast and established
beside
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
humans
use social
media
to get in touch and spread their relationship network. Social
media
helps
humans
to update their knowledge
day
by
day
.
Due to
, the
world
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
occurring every
day
they need to provide more information around the
world
.
Another positive aspects
Replace the adjective
Another positive aspect
Other positive aspects
show examples
, the speed of searching for information on social
media
is dramatically high and fast. It just needs a few minutes to know the news. It may help a busy person to get more easily in their life. What's more convenient and helpful, social
media
helps
people
to contact other
people
quickly.
Therefore
they can use social
media
to update their status every
day
or every minute so their friends and family can know what are they doing and are supposed to do.
Besides
that, using social
media
can help
humans
to save their relationships in the past or the future.
For instance
, when
people
lose contact with other
people
they don’t spend too much time increasing relationships.
Due to
the technology era, meeting up face to face is hard so
people
can lose their relationships.
To conclude
, social
media
brings a number of benefits to
humans
around the
world
. Social
media
has big and important impacts on human lives.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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