Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that the method of minimizing
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
on
traffic Change preposition
of
accident
is changing the Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
age
that is
allowed for owning driving license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
of
vehicles and motorbikes. I do not agree with Change preposition
for
this
perspective because the age
that is
allowed currently is enough for acquiring skills for driving. Instead
of that
training Correct determiner usage
apply
courses
, providing driving
Correct article usage
a driving
license
,
should be qualified.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, the minimum age
of
holding Change preposition
for
driving
Add an article
the driving
a driving
license
is 18 which is
should not be changed. Unnecessary verb
apply
This
is because people who reach the age
18
Change preposition
of 18
means
Verb problem
are
adult
, Fix the agreement mistake
adults
therefore
, those people should be responsible for their any
activities including traffic Correct quantifier usage
apply
accident
. If the Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
age
allowance it
needs to be changed for holding Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
a driver
driver
Change noun form
driver's
license
, which
could Correct pronoun usage
it
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
for
Change preposition
apply
the
other social Correct article usage
apply
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
such
as unemployment. For example
, there are many drivers
work
in Wrong verb form
working
mining
and construction sectors Correct article usage
the mining
with
Change preposition
at
age
Correct article usage
the age
18
. In Change preposition
of 18
this
case, the result of this
change would encourage the number of unemployed drivers
.
Secondly
, the growing number of accidents is not basically Correct article usage
a resulted
resulted
Replace the word
result
from
the Change preposition
of
age
of drivers
. It is because of quality
of training Correct article usage
the quality
courses
. If those courses
improve their training method and requirements of their graduates, drivers
would be more skilled. For example
, some people hold driver
Change noun form
driver's
license
without attending any Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
trainings
because some of them offer money for Fix the agreement mistake
training
polices
to get Correct subject-verb agreement
police
license
without Add an article
a license
the license
graduation
exam. Correct article usage
a graduation
This
trend could be caused bigger reason for the improving number of road safety issues.
To conclude
, changing the age
that has to be written on the driver
Change noun form
driver's
license
would not make difference
Correct article usage
a difference
for
improving traffic safety because it could Change preposition
in
be
affect Unnecessary verb
apply
to
some socio-economic issues Change preposition
apply
to
our society. Change preposition
in
Instead
of
Change preposition
apply
Correct determiner usage
apply
that
training Correct determiner usage
apply
courses
need to improve their quality and requirements, which prepare drivers
of cars and motorbikes.Submitted by zulzayanyamkhu on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use a variety of linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will make the flow of your essay more logical and easier to follow.
task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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