Many parents believe that children should read strict educational books and not any other entertainment books as it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree.

Present days the majority of people think that their
children
ought to read rigorous educational
books
and
also
they should not spend their
time
on other entertaining
books
as it is accepted for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
long years. I totally agree that youngsters need to read only educational
books
.
Firstly
, for many years
children
used to read a huge number of educational
books
and
also
save some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
to read other kinds of
books
, but
this
caused a lot of problems
such
as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
being addicted to entertaining
books
, wasting much more
time
than they expected to spend and getting many needless pieces of information from entertaining albums. To protect youngsters from addiction, wasting
time
and learning unnecessary information parents have to take control of their
children
,
for example
, they should start buying many academic
books
for their
children
or give them home
education
to other families as it was accepted abroad.
On the other hand
, reading enjoyable
books
which provide interesting
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
show examples
but can not influence
education
, helps
children
Change preposition
in
show examples
other ways. Nowadays there are lots of people that made many achievements in the sphere of
education
, and they approve that they got useless data that helped with creativity, logical thinking, and being relaxed so they can start working with a new strength. In conclusion, we mustn't make any
possibilities
Replace the word
possible
show examples
to read entertainment
books
due to
losing progress in their
education
.
Submitted by jasurutamuradov on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing a clear and logical structure to your essay. You can achieve this by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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