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Many parents believe that children should read strict educational books and not any other entertainment books as it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree.

#parents #children #books #entertainment #time
Present days the majority of people think that their
children
 ought to read rigorous educational
books
 and
also
 they should not spend their
time
 on other entertaining
books
 as it is accepted for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
long years. I totally agree that youngsters need to read only educational
books
.
Firstly
, for many years
children
 used to read a huge number of educational
books
 and
also
 save some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
 to read other kinds of
books
 , but
this
 caused a lot of problems
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 being addicted to entertaining
books
, wasting much more
time
 than they expected to spend and getting many needless pieces of information from entertaining albums. To protect youngsters from addiction, wasting
time
 and learning unnecessary information parents have to take control of their
children
,
for example
, they should start buying many academic
books
 for their
children
 or give them home
education
 to other families as it was accepted abroad.
On the other hand
, reading enjoyable
books
 which provide interesting
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
show examples
 but can not influence
education
 , helps
children
Change preposition
in
show examples
other ways. Nowadays there are lots of people that made many achievements in the sphere of
education
, and they approve that they got useless data that helped with creativity, logical thinking, and being relaxed so they can start working with a new strength. In conclusion, we mustn't make any
possibilities
Replace the word
possible
show examples
 to read entertainment
books
due to
 losing progress in their
education
.
Submitted by jasurutamuradov on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Response, ensure that you directly address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument or clearly stating your position. It's important to elaborate on your views with relevant examples or evidence. Also, avoid making generalized or sweeping statements without backing them up with specific details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing a clear and logical structure to your essay. You can achieve this by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance Coherence and Cohesion by linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to show the relationships between ideas and to help the reader navigate through your argument smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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