IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many parents believe that children should read strict educational books and not any other entertainment books as it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree.

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Present days the majority of people think that their
children
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 ought to read rigorous educational
books
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 and
also
Linking Words
 they should not spend their
time
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 on other entertaining
books
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 as it is accepted for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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long years. I totally agree that youngsters need to read only educational
books
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.
Firstly
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, for many years
children
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 used to read a huge number of educational
books
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 and
also
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 save some
of
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apply
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time
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 to read other kinds of
books
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 , but
this
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 caused a lot of problems
such
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 as
:
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apply
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 being addicted to entertaining
books
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, wasting much more
time
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 than they expected to spend and getting many needless pieces of information from entertaining albums. To protect youngsters from addiction, wasting
time
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 and learning unnecessary information parents have to take control of their
children
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,
for example
Linking Words
, they should start buying many academic
books
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 for their
children
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 or give them home
education
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 to other families as it was accepted abroad.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, reading enjoyable
books
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 which provide interesting
knowledges
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knowledge
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 but can not influence
education
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 , helps
children
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in
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other ways. Nowadays there are lots of people that made many achievements in the sphere of
education
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, and they approve that they got useless data that helped with creativity, logical thinking, and being relaxed so they can start working with a new strength. In conclusion, we mustn't make any
possibilities
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possible
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 to read entertainment
books
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due to
Linking Words
 losing progress in their
education
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.

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Response, ensure that you directly address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument or clearly stating your position. It's important to elaborate on your views with relevant examples or evidence. Also, avoid making generalized or sweeping statements without backing them up with specific details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing a clear and logical structure to your essay. You can achieve this by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance Coherence and Cohesion by linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to show the relationships between ideas and to help the reader navigate through your argument smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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