Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In modern days, education is related to
people
's
future
. Some
people
believe that all university
students
should
study
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
which they want but, at the same time, others believe that they should be accepted to subjects which will be helpful in the
future
.
This
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In this
show examples
essay, I will discuss both these sides and give my own point. At the beginning, the development of technology has rapidly increased in recent years.
Therefore
, a large number of
people
think if
students
learn how to use technology, it will help their
future
job and they can
enroll
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enrol
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in an organization easily.
And if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
students
can enroll
big
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in big
show examples
company
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companies
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, their
salary
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salaries
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will
adequate
Add a missing verb
be adequate
show examples
for their lives.
In addition
, those who
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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with
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
important to
study
subject
Add an article
a subject
show examples
which useful in the
future
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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only look
earnings
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at earnings
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without
do not consideration
Verb problem
considering
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about
students
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students'
student's
show examples
dream
Correct subject-verb agreement
dreams
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.
On the other hand
,
students
should
study
whatever they want because humans can work hard for their
future
. Most
people
choose happiness rather than wealth. If
students
study
subject
Add an article
a subject
show examples
which they like, they will do a lot of good projections in their country. Many
people
want to try new
projection
Fix the agreement mistake
projections
show examples
about their subjects because they are really interested in their
choosing
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chosen
show examples
subject
,
therefore
they might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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explore
improvement
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the improvement
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of something which is needed for their country. All in all, both concepts have pros and cons
however
, in my point of view,
students
should be allowed to
study
whatever they choose. Because
this
viewpoint is good for the student’s
future
and
this
view’s advantage can outweigh the advantage of
other view
Change the wording
another view
other views
show examples
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but could be more impactful. Try to paraphrase the question in the introduction for clarity and make a stronger, more definitive statement of your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully with clear, specific examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more compelling and improve reader understanding.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both views equally and providing a clear, well-supported personal opinion. This has been accomplished, but further elaboration could strengthen your response.
task achievement
Strive to present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Use straightforward language and ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea, supporting it with relevant details and examples.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific, detailed examples to support your points. This will add depth to your essay and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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