IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate nawadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

In
modern
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the modern
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 era , numerous individuals believe that
due to
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 the advancement in science and
technology
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 , there is. Decrease in
crime
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 all over the world as there are many latest equipment which can solve and prevent
crime
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 . If questioned, I agree
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with
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in
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with
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this
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 viewpoint and the upcoming paragraphs will elaborate
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on some
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some
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on some
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 arguments related to
this
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 view with valid examples and explanations.
Due to
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 the developing world,
technology
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 is
also
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 evolving day by day .
To begin
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 with, there are
nle
Correct your spelling
only
 a high increase in security cameras in houses, banks ,and
at
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apply
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many more areas .
For instance
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, if anyone is found to be doing robbery in the cameras ,
then
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 they are going to be caught in no time as well going to be punished .
Further
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 , if any person
committe
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commits
committed
 a murder ,
then
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 they are going to be recognised very easily by their DNA or fingerprint. To give an example, police can
found
Wrong verb form
find
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 the culprit who committed a murder by simply matching the blood of the culprit to have DNA of that particular person which can be mixed with the victim's blood and
also
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 the fingerprints which are on the tool used for murder can be useful to find the criminals. Following these , nowadays
tracking
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a tracking
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 system is
also
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 invented to track anyone .
For example
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 , police
officer
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officers
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 can easily track the location of any criminal by just tracking the culprit 's
last
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 mobile phone location .
Lastly
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 , numerous criminals who
had
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have
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 gone to jail have
know
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known
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 that living there is like living in hell . So , after coming out of jail they will
don't do
Verb problem
not commit
show examples
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crime
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crimes
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.
To sum up
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 ,
due to
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 the evolving
technology
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 and invention of many
lastest
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latest
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 equipment like CCTV cameras, DNA testing
system
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systems
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 and tracking
system
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systems
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, criminals are scared of doing
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 as they are going to be caught.
Hence
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 , the
frequencies
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frequency
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 of
crime
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 has dropped
down
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apply
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in the
last
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 few years
due to
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 developing
technology
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, structure your paragraphs clearly; each should begin with a topic sentence followed by supporting sentences, and conclude with a summarizing or linking sentence. Use a variety of cohesive devices beyond simple conjunctions to better link ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Expand your argument with a wider range of examples and more complex considerations of the issue. While your use of examples is strong, broadening the discussion to include potential drawbacks or limitations of technology in reducing crime could enhance the depth of your response.
General
Attention to grammar and punctuation is crucial. Varied sentence structures and accurate use of tenses will strengthen your argument. Also, proofread your essay for typographical errors to improve readability. Finally, expanding your vocabulary to use less common, more precise terms will enrich your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime
  • technology
  • police
  • cameras
  • tracking
  • smartphone
  • report
  • help
  • social media
  • awareness
  • communities
  • safe
  • advanced
  • tools
  • DNA
  • testing
  • fingersprints
  • solve
  • past
  • faster
  • easier
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