IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #governments #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products
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In contemporary society, smoking has emerged as a leading contributor to severe
health
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 issues and premature mortality worldwide. The proposition of prohibiting cigarettes and other
tobacco
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products
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 by
governments
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 has sparked debates regarding the balance between public
health
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 interests and individual freedom.
This
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 essay will argue that despite  the personal liberties involved, the ban on
tobacco
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products
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 should be supported
due to
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 the overwhelming evidence of their adverse
health
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 effects and the social costs associated with
tobacco
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-related  illnesses.
To begin
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 with, cigarettes and other
tobacco
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products
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 contain harmful substances
such
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 as nicotine and tar, which have been scientifically proven to be detrimental to human
health
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. The consumption of these
products
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 is directly linked to various life-threatening conditions,  including lung cancer, cardiovascular diseases, and respiratory disorders. Studies have shown that smoking not only affects the individual smoker but
also
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 has negative consequences for non-smokers through secondhand smoke exposure.
Therefore
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, from a public
health
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 perspective, the prohibition
if
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of
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tobacco
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products
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 can significantly reduce the incidence of these deadly diseases and promote
overall
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 well-being
I
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in
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 society.
However
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, opponents may argue that banning
tobacco
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products
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 infringes upon individuals 'rights to make autonomous decisions about their lifestyles. They may contend that  regulating rather than prohibiting smoking would be a more balanced approach.
Nevertheless
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, it is essential to recognize that the societal costs of smoking-related healthcare expenses, loss of productivity, and premature deaths far outweigh the argument for personal freedom to smoke. By implementing a ban on
tobacco
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products
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, 
governments
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 can protect public
health
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, reduce healthcare burdens , and create a safer environment for all citizens. In conclusion, the detrimental impact of smoking on public
health
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 cannot be understated , making it imperative for
governments
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 to consider implementing a ban on cigarettes and other
tobacco
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products
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.
While
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 individuals are entitled to personal choices,  the significant
health
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 risks associated with smoking warrant decisive intervention to safeguard the well-being of society as a whole . By prioritizing public
health
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 over personal liberties in
this
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 context, 
governments
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 can move towards creating a healthier and smoke-free future for generations to come.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your stance clearly. Your conclusion should summarize the key points and restate your position.
coherence
Organize your ideas logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or reasons. Transition phrases can help create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
content
To strengthen your argument, include specific examples or data to support your points where possible. This makes your argument more convincing and demonstrates an understanding of the topic's complexity.
development
Develop your paragraphs more fully. Each should explore a single main idea related to your position on the topic. Adding more detail, explanation, or analysis can help make your argument stronger and more nuanced.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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