IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages

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Nowadays, lots of
museums
Use synonyms
 where most ancient features are preserved are
establishing
Wrong verb form
established
show examples
.
Purpose
Correct article usage
The purpose
show examples
 of all
museums
Use synonyms
built
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is help to
people
Use synonyms
 recognize and
have
Verb problem
gain
show examples
 knowledge about
history
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some
museums
Use synonyms
 require
cost
Correct article usage
a cost
show examples
 to visit
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 other
museum
Use synonyms
 facilities are free. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss about pros and cons of requiring admission to enter
museums
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, all facilities need financial
suport
Correct your spelling
support
 which is lots of money to develop and expand
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 range.
Although
Linking Words
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
builr
Correct your spelling
building
 more
museums
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 should contribute to organisations especially
museums
Use synonyms
 which aggrandize
people
Use synonyms
's education about their ancestors,
In addition
Linking Words
,
museums
Use synonyms
 should have
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
mabe
Correct your spelling
may
 damage historical items.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some cases,
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 group of young children and some
people
Use synonyms
entrered
Correct your spelling
entered
 to
museum
Use synonyms
withouth
Correct your spelling
without
 any
promission
Correct your spelling
permission
 and they collapsed the valuable antique vase and broke. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to visit their country's
history
Use synonyms
 or science
museums
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should generate
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 gain knowledge about their major
history
Use synonyms
 from
museums
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently, there have built big
museum
Use synonyms
 where can
contain
Wrong verb form
contains
show examples
 almost all
historical
Correct article usage
the historical
show examples
discovery
Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
ancient
Correct article usage
the ancient
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 life of and
relate
Correct subject-verb agreement
relates
show examples
 to
Mongolian
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the most notable king Chingis
khan
Capitalize word
Khan
show examples
 who
could conquer
Wrong verb form
conquered
show examples
 half of
mainland
Add an article
the mainland
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world.
Although
Linking Words
 my country's civils can know about the most
previous
Correct your spelling
precious
show examples
 historical actions by
viciting
Correct your spelling
visiting
citing
 that
museum
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 still have not entered it because it has high
expence
Correct your spelling
expense
 to enter
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
. In conclusion, even though paying
cost
Add an article
the cost
a cost
show examples
 to for
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 has diverse drawbacks
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 does not require
premission
Correct your spelling
permission
 and fee,
people
Use synonyms
 can visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it whenever they want and obtain a range of education about their
history
Use synonyms
, animals and nature
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 free, it has more superiority and one of them is we can develop
museums
Use synonyms
 by investing and paying
cost
Add an article
the cost
a cost
show examples
 for it.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Try to present one main idea per paragraph, followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) to help the flow of the essay and make the relationships between sentences and paragraphs clearer.
task achievement
Address the task directly by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of charging for museum admissions, and clearly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Work on clarity and specificity in your arguments. Be direct and concise in presenting your ideas, and ensure that the reader can easily understand your stance. Use specific examples to support your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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