IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people around the world use ssocial media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #news #events
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In today's digital age, social
media
 plays an important of individuals's lives all over the world to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
 and get news
events
.
This
 author argues that the benefits of communication and getting news
events
 outweigh the drawbacks of internet distraction. The most advantageous factor of social
media
 is that it allows
people
 to communicate with other
people
such
 as family members, friends or some guys
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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regardless of geographical distances. Social
media
 platforms provide convenient communication, From the mentioned knowledge, the attraction of Facebook and Instagram has increased and had a great impact on
people
 all over the world. They can stay in touch with their friends and make friends with strangers. Another point of view must
also
 be considered that social
media
 serves as a powerful tool for staying informed about new
events
. With the ability to follow new outlets and journalists,
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 can access a constant stream of updates on current
events
.
Additionally
, social
media
 allows for the rapid dissemination of information, enabling users to share news articles and important updates with their networks.
However
, one of the fears is the internet distraction. Because of the attraction and entertainment of social sites
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
 can be addicted .
This
 may be true, but by entertaining it will encourage them to relax and refresh their mind.
Consequently
,
people
 should use it in a healthy and balanced way. Taking all points into account, the communication and getting new
events
 outweigh the internet distraction.

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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more effectively by creating distinct paragraphs for your introduction, each main point, and your conclusion. Ensure each paragraph deals with a single main idea supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your introduction and conclusion to clearly state your opinion and summarise the main points of your argument. This helps the reader understand your stance and how you've developed your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, and clearly stating if advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate your points more clearly and compellingly. Avoid repetition of words and phrases to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
What to do next:
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