Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, university
students
tend to focus on subjects
that they will be useful in the future. While
other people
Add a missing verb
are concern
concern
that Replace the word
concerned
students
should study whatever they want. In my opinion, I completely agree that it is more beneficial for university students
to concentrate on their crucial subjects
.
On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of learn
the main lessons which are related to science and technology. It might improve Change the verb form
learning
students
’ knowledge of modern technology and scientific skills which are
most Unnecessary verb
apply
people
believe that
Correct word choice
apply
it
will become much more important. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, minority
of professions are utilizing Add an article
a minority
the minority
generation
of them soon.
Correct article usage
a generation
On the other hand
, group
of Correct article usage
a group
people
realize that studying their favourite subjects
is a great way to consider potentials
. Fix the agreement mistake
potential
Therefore
, students
can be mastered looking opportunities
from Change preposition
for opportunities
the
different aspects and there might be Correct article usage
apply
positive
tendency Add an article
the positive
a positive
of
work satisfaction. Change preposition
for
In other words
, work pressure and mental breakdown might decrease worldwide and this
is because people
know the feature
of science, technology and Fix the agreement mistake
features
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
career related
difficulties.
In conclusion, I strongly disagree that Add a hyphen
career-related
instead
of studying vital subjects
, all university students
should only be allowed to study whatever they like. As a consequence
, students
are more likely to hesitate about their future jobs and it can cause many problems,
because it does not allow everyone to have access freely.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your standpoint. Your current introduction is slightly ambiguous and could be misconstrued by the reader. A precise thesis statement would significantly strengthen your essay's clarity.
Logical Structure
Improve logical progression by using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs. This guides the reader through your argument more effectively. Each paragraph should clearly state its main idea and then elaborate on it, providing evidence or examples.
Supported Main Points
Enhance your argument by providing more specific examples to support your points. While you mention the importance of science and technology, concrete examples or real-world scenarios will make your argument more compelling and credible.
Complete Response
Broaden your argument by addressing the prompt more comprehensively. Discuss both views presented in the prompt before stating your own opinion. This ensures a complete response to the question and demonstrates your ability to engage with multiple perspectives.
Conclusion
Clarify and develop your conclusion. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of your argument, reflect on both sides of the issue, and clearly restate your stance. This reinforces your position and provides a satisfying closure to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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