In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occurred? 2. Should parents force their children to spend more time at home?

In our present
time
,
kids
prefer to be closer to their friends more than their families. These days are completely different in many ways. In these terms ,
children
are closer to their friends because they share many things especially , interests.
Parents
should know more about their
kids
to be closer and spend more
time
with them . First and foremost, today's
children
are more aware than
kids
in the past . So , they need a person to listen and interact with them all the
time
.
In other words
,
kids
need to build a good relationship with friends to tell them about their daily life and needs .
Moreover
,
parents
should be closer to their
kids
and allocate
time
to listen and understand their
children
. If the mother spent more
time
with her son certainly it would make a huge change and his son would be better.
additionally
, when the mother and father know more about
kids
they will provide a suitable environment .
For example
, there is a study by Harvard University about 50% of
children
suffer from loneliness and
this
affects their mental health and leads them to depression. The solution to
this
issue is in the hands of
parents
, if the
parents
know about their
kids
and allocate more
time
to them definitely, the problems will be solved . Spending
time
with them will create a good relationship .
For instance
, there is a book called " How to raise a Child" the author explains how
parents
should deal with their
children
and how they should be concerned and encourage their
kids
to become better people in the future. In conclusion,
parents
have to spend more
time
with their
kids
to build a deeper relationship with them .
Furthermore
, if they want their
children
to be successful in the future they have to provide a suitable environment.
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on

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task achievement
Try to develop each paragraph more fully, perhaps by providing more detailed examples or explanations for your points.
task achievement
Make sure to maintain a consistent tone and avoid making assumptions about the reader's understanding or agreement with your points.
coherence cohesion
Although there is a logical structure, consider improving clarity between points. Use more varied linking words to help smooth transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the main points you are going to discuss.
task achievement
You've provided good examples like the Harvard study. These help to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a main idea, and there's a clear conclusion that wraps up your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic commitments
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Technology and social media
  • Peer acceptance
  • Independence
  • Family dynamics
  • Cultural norms
  • Individualism
  • Parental enforcement
  • Family bonds
  • Social development
  • Autonomy versus guidance
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