Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some argue that it's the parent's responsibility to teach

children

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how to be good members of society,

while

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others think school is the best place where they should learn to become valuable members. The supporter of teaching

children

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parents

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has

for reaching

Correct your spelling

far-reaching

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implications in developing social skills. Simply put,

parents

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play a crucial role in the upbringing of their offspring. In effect, Mothers and fathers are the first individuals

Change preposition

with who

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who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

children

Use synonyms

spend their time

Change preposition

apply

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them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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. As an illustration,

children

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have always emulated a parent's

behaviour

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Therefore

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, the type of

parents

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behaviour

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such

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as donating to charity, lending a hand to elderly people, and lack of respect for each other, will have

substantial

Add an article

a substantial

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impact on

children

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On the other hand

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, others put forward the argument that school provides an ideal environment in which to foster good

behaviour

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. To elaborate on

this

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, the second setting is where

children

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spend their time in school. In fact, they are faced with their instructor and a classmate having a diverse perspective.

For instance

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, in Japan, cleaning classes are done by students, so they do not have any waiters in their schools. They know that cleaning their classes is one of their duties and over time

this

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behaviour

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will instil and exercise

such

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manners in their entire life. In conclusion,

although

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parents

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and schools have their responsibility in turn, I would argue that both education institutes and mothers and fathers are responsible for the growth of

children

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and shaping their personalities.

hongminh317Thu Mar 21 2024

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Grammar

Be careful with verb tense consistency. Make sure that your essay maintains a consistent tense unless changing it to suit specific time references.

Sentence Structure

Work on varying your sentence structures to include more complex and compound sentences. This will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider refining the transition between paragraphs for smoother logical flow. Phrases like 'On the other hand' are good, but additional linking words can enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure to directly address the essay prompt in your introduction and conclusion, explicitly stating your own opinion in relation to the discussion points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
moral values
social norms
structured environment
cooperation
respect
communal responsibilities
decision-making
societal integration
consistent messages
cultural expectations
complementary roles

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Today more and more people want things instantly (eg: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Success is often measured in terms of how much somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?